June 11, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at June 11, 2006 12:00:00
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, at the tender age of 15 days, is already changing our world. She is dominating our discussions, she is captivating an international audience, and she is helping to further cement her parents" status as the reigning Zeus and Hera of a Land called Celebrity. Much more so than her Scientological counterpart Suri Cruise, who has yet to be strategically product placed and who is becoming more urban legend and less flesh and bone with each passing day. Full Story
Thursday, June 8, 2006
A full column will follow later tonight but I couldn"t resist showing you the Shiloh shots from People.
They are glorious without being cheesy. And Angelina is breathtaking. Even more so because my expert makeup friends at Kiss & Makeup
have carefully studied the cover shot and have concluded that she is NOT wearing much makeup at all. Hate her! Love her! Worship her! And save it with the "they"ve probably been touched up" snarkiness. We are gossip lovers. We are gossiphounds. We LIVE for sh*t like this. So celebrate the arrival of the Chosen One and just be grateful you"re living in the Golden Age of Celebrity Smut, led by two major players who are Olympian deities in their own right and who can manipulate better than Zeus himself.
The article itself is, as you would expect, pure fluff. But I do love how the magazine gently but pointedly gives the other rags a condescending shot in the ass - especially for getting so many of their "exclusive" details wrong. People"s in a feisty mood this week!
Anyway, my personal favourite is the one where Brad cradles Shiloh"s head with the "little girls just crush me caption." Swooning now.
OK, must run. Have the CTV Fall Launch Vancouver event to attend this afternoon and an hour of makeup to endure. HUGE thanks to CM for sending me the scans.
Fresh column tonight (Thursday). Til then, I am yours in gossip,
UPDATE: Hope you saw them while they were up because People got mad at me and I had to protect my Chinese ass.
Obviously, they really really really want you to BUY the magazine, so do your part, shell out five bucks at the grocery store this weekend, drool all over the baby gorgessity, and help People continue the Family Pitt world domination.
June 6, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at June 6, 2006 12:00:00
Yesterday. The day that Jennifer Aniston was supposed to be basking in the glory of finally owning a box office, Brad Pitt and his triple baby momma decide to dominate the headlines once again. Because what"s a $38 million dollar weekend take compared to the first photos of one of the most famous babies ever born??? I know some of you are sick of my mantra but seriously y"all…there really are NO coincidences in Hollywood. Full Story
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
As if public interest in the Family Pitt wasn"t intense enough, Shiloh"s arrival has opened up a whole new motherload of speculation and rumour surrounding details of her birth and how her megafamous parents plan to live their lives going forward. And while In Touch claims to be he one leading the way with up to the minute reporting on everything Pitt, I wouldn"t put as much stock into the Life & Style "exclusives". Remember the rules of tabloid hierarchy y"all
. And just in case you forgot - this is the same publication that claimed Tom and Katie were over and that Jessica and Nick were going to have a baby.
In today"s issue: Angie, Brad, herpes, and rehashing rumour central, Ben"s mysterious illness, examining the body Reese, just a little gloating re: Jude & Sienna, an update on the Kidmans, praise for Bellucci, Nicole Richie stops dying, and warming up to Jen and Vince.
May 30, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 30, 2006 12:00:00
Must have received over a 100 emails over the last 2 days about that herpes thing. Some chick claiming to have worked for 20th Century Fox sent in an email to some blog claiming that Angelina"s c-section was a medical necessity due to the fact that she has herpes and couldn"t risk passing the virus on to the baby. Full Story
Monday, May 29, 2006
Home sweet home. But to be honest, I could have stayed in Europe forever. Cannes was a chaotic blast. More on that later as I suspect most of you want to dish on the baby first.
SHE arrived, y"all. The gossip "messiah", the "gift", the answer to Scientology and the anti-thesis to the Gay Midget Cruise … Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt was born on Saturday in Africa, reportedly via c-section. But while In Touch is claiming to be the first to report on the African delivery, please allow me one tiny smug moment to gloat about the fact that I was actually la premiere to bring news of the birthing location - way, way, way back in January. So for what it"s worth, I"ve got fresh exclusives. As in why they went for a c-section and a few signs of tension between the lover brother and the lover Brad. Oh…and by the way… The Break Up premieres in just under a week. Is this not the coincidence to end all coincidences???
Also in today"s issue: Britney"s new colour, wrapping up Cannes, Jake and Natalie wishful thinking, Joshua Jackson sighted, concern for Claudia, Rosario Dawson needs help, some shameless self promotion, a vicious piece of hatemail, and oh yes… a sort of new smutty riddle.
But first - just a word about the riddles to those of you who may be new to the column. Due to the fact that I don"t want the Chinese sued out of me, I am unable to reply directly to all of your guesses, which is why I usually throw in an answer or two to some of your questions in the "Last Word." There are, however, clues peppered about all over and at the risk of sounding pendantic - if you read carefully through the archives, the answers are literally right there. Thick Skin
is a good example. Hope that helps. As for Strong and Not
- for the benefit of those who have not had time to get caught up - please note that it is NOT Heather and Macca or the Beckhams or the Smiths.
Now let"s dish…
May 29, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 29, 2006 12:00:00
As expected, the Pitts made the official announcement on Saturday through People, yet another sign that the magazine is the leading candidate to win the baby photo sweepstakes (for more details on their campaign, click here http://www.laineygossip.com/ArticleList.aspx?ID=3809). Shiloh Nouvel. Shiloh meaning the gift, the peaceful one, the messiah. Full Story
May 29, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 29, 2006 12:00:00
I"m happy to tell you that I"m officially a member of CTV"s eTalk family with my very own bio section on the website! Click here to check it out.
I"ll be on every Monday with fresh smut and you can catch me tomorrow night dishing exclusive on JD Fortune and the Family Pitt. Full Story
May 21, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 21, 2006 12:00:00
Contrary to what you may be reading about the baby having been born already, my sources are insisting that Baby Jolie-P has yet to make its arrival. And on a Buddhist note (which Angelina has been known to practice) it would be EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY contrary to principle to begin a new life under such fraudulent circumstances. Full Story
Strong and not is definitely NOT Angelina Jolie. Because Brad Pitt is a lover, not a beater. Now that I think of it though, there are some pishposh family similarities.
Fresh smut some time this weekend from Cannes. Hopefully by then I’ll be best friends forever with Lindsay Lohan.
Til then, I am yours in gossip,
May 14, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at May 14, 2006 12:00:00
Same little face. Same little dimples. Same full mouth. Wee Violet is just like mom, non? And while I’m never particularly excited by the mostest dullest Jennifer Garner, I have to tell you…her child is cuteness overload. I suppose it’s a surprising reproductive advantage to being taupe – kind of like the Goddess’s way of reimbursing someone for penny pinching on personality. Full Story