Sunday, June 11, 2006
By all accounts, Shiloh and the Gang have returned to Los Angeles. But even though they have yet to be sighted, everywhere I went this weekend, people were talking about the Chosen One and her family photo frenzy. Naturally, everyone has an opinion. Some think pimping your kid - even for charity - is NEVER a good thing. Hardcore "Brangelina" fans or "BAMZS" fans as they like to call themselves these days can"t stop gushing about the Jolie-Pitts" admirable philanthropic generosity, arguing that so many others would have eventually profited from the pictures anyway, it only made sense to turn the intense public interest into awareness and financial aid for some of the world"s most disadvantaged citizens. These, by the way, are the same BAMZS fans who think my "conspiracy and media manipulation theories" are full of sh*t, and that I"m a nasty bitch for even implying that the Pitts have been matching every Aniston tit with a tat of their own. Apparently they don"t think Brad and Angie need to engage in Hollywood media warfare anymore.
Right then. Shall we move on to less amateur discussions?
In today"s monster issue: the Shiloh world domination and a philanthropic suggestion for Hollywood"s most (openly) philanthropic heavyweights, Britney regresses, Ben poses, Jen glows, Elle"s flirtation, being - gulp - honest about Paris, the Mimi debate rages again, the Family Beckham on display, and clues clues everywhere.
Thursday, June 8, 2006
A full column will follow later tonight but I couldn"t resist showing you the Shiloh shots from People.
They are glorious without being cheesy. And Angelina is breathtaking. Even more so because my expert makeup friends at Kiss & Makeup
have carefully studied the cover shot and have concluded that she is NOT wearing much makeup at all. Hate her! Love her! Worship her! And save it with the "they"ve probably been touched up" snarkiness. We are gossip lovers. We are gossiphounds. We LIVE for sh*t like this. So celebrate the arrival of the Chosen One and just be grateful you"re living in the Golden Age of Celebrity Smut, led by two major players who are Olympian deities in their own right and who can manipulate better than Zeus himself.
The article itself is, as you would expect, pure fluff. But I do love how the magazine gently but pointedly gives the other rags a condescending shot in the ass - especially for getting so many of their "exclusive" details wrong. People"s in a feisty mood this week!
Anyway, my personal favourite is the one where Brad cradles Shiloh"s head with the "little girls just crush me caption." Swooning now.
OK, must run. Have the CTV Fall Launch Vancouver event to attend this afternoon and an hour of makeup to endure. HUGE thanks to CM for sending me the scans.
Fresh column tonight (Thursday). Til then, I am yours in gossip,
UPDATE: Hope you saw them while they were up because People got mad at me and I had to protect my Chinese ass.
Obviously, they really really really want you to BUY the magazine, so do your part, shell out five bucks at the grocery store this weekend, drool all over the baby gorgessity, and help People continue the Family Pitt world domination.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
As if public interest in the Family Pitt wasn"t intense enough, Shiloh"s arrival has opened up a whole new motherload of speculation and rumour surrounding details of her birth and how her megafamous parents plan to live their lives going forward. And while In Touch claims to be he one leading the way with up to the minute reporting on everything Pitt, I wouldn"t put as much stock into the Life & Style "exclusives". Remember the rules of tabloid hierarchy y"all
. And just in case you forgot - this is the same publication that claimed Tom and Katie were over and that Jessica and Nick were going to have a baby.
In today"s issue: Angie, Brad, herpes, and rehashing rumour central, Ben"s mysterious illness, examining the body Reese, just a little gloating re: Jude & Sienna, an update on the Kidmans, praise for Bellucci, Nicole Richie stops dying, and warming up to Jen and Vince.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Home sweet home. But to be honest, I could have stayed in Europe forever. Cannes was a chaotic blast. More on that later as I suspect most of you want to dish on the baby first.
SHE arrived, y"all. The gossip "messiah", the "gift", the answer to Scientology and the anti-thesis to the Gay Midget Cruise … Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt was born on Saturday in Africa, reportedly via c-section. But while In Touch is claiming to be the first to report on the African delivery, please allow me one tiny smug moment to gloat about the fact that I was actually la premiere to bring news of the birthing location - way, way, way back in January. So for what it"s worth, I"ve got fresh exclusives. As in why they went for a c-section and a few signs of tension between the lover brother and the lover Brad. Oh…and by the way… The Break Up premieres in just under a week. Is this not the coincidence to end all coincidences???
Also in today"s issue: Britney"s new colour, wrapping up Cannes, Jake and Natalie wishful thinking, Joshua Jackson sighted, concern for Claudia, Rosario Dawson needs help, some shameless self promotion, a vicious piece of hatemail, and oh yes… a sort of new smutty riddle.
But first - just a word about the riddles to those of you who may be new to the column. Due to the fact that I don"t want the Chinese sued out of me, I am unable to reply directly to all of your guesses, which is why I usually throw in an answer or two to some of your questions in the "Last Word." There are, however, clues peppered about all over and at the risk of sounding pendantic - if you read carefully through the archives, the answers are literally right there. Thick Skin
is a good example. Hope that helps. As for Strong and Not
- for the benefit of those who have not had time to get caught up - please note that it is NOT Heather and Macca or the Beckhams or the Smiths.
Now let"s dish…
Strong and not is definitely NOT Angelina Jolie. Because Brad Pitt is a lover, not a beater. Now that I think of it though, there are some pishposh family similarities.
Fresh smut some time this weekend from Cannes. Hopefully by then I’ll be best friends forever with Lindsay Lohan.
Til then, I am yours in gossip,