Break Ups Articles

Hollywood celebrity break ups, splits, and divorces.

Shelfy can’t cling long distance

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 5, 2009 08:48:02 October 5, 2009 08:48:02

Shelf Ass Jessica Biel is back in Vancouver, arrived last Thursday and spotted yesterday downtown filming A-Team. As you can see, even on set with makeup on, Shelfy looks like sh-t. Gaunt, pale, and am told she seems listless and mopey between scenes. A reader (thanks Rubina!) saw her on Saturday night at a lounge in Kits, shared a few words with her, and also wrote that Biel seemed rough – “awful” was the word that was used. Full Story

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The Clinger cover and the People Publicist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 30, 2009 12:36:32 September 30, 2009 12:36:32

The good news is that Shelfy landed herself a cover. The bad news…the cover makes her look as pathetic as Jennifer Aniston. As reported yesterday, the new issue of Us Weekly features an exclusive breakup report – Justin Timberlake ditched the Shelf Ass Jessica Biel. Full Story

He shed the Clinger?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 29, 2009 08:53:26 September 29, 2009 08:53:26

Oh la. The new issue of Us Magazine comes out tomorrow but etalk received an advance copy and their report is putting Shelfy in the sh-ts. I just read my voice over for our piece about 15 minutes ago. According to the publication, they say Pip ditched her. Full Story

Ebola destroys again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 17, 2009 12:42:19 September 17, 2009 12:42:19

This comes as no surprise. For many reasons. Us Weekly reports that Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are done. That she told him she wanted out and that divorce papers will be filed imminently. He is apparently “crushed”. Full Story

Unfixable

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 18, 2009 08:11:12 August 18, 2009 08:11:12

It was Sean Penn’s birthday yesterday. He’s 49. Two nights ago he was spotted in Malibu at Nobu leaving with a friend. Not sure if he celebrated with Robin Wright though it seems unlikely. Page Six is reporting Full Story

McGosling glimmer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 12, 2009 08:22:42 August 12, 2009 08:22:42

I thought they were nuts. Then the Twi-Hards came along and redefined crazy. But before Stephenie Meyer ignited the lunatic gene in those losers, the McGoslings did indeed foam all over the internets hoping the real life rowboat would happen. Oh those halcyon days. When Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling rushed across the MTV stage and gave us a kiss to remember forever… It ended eventually and for a while there, especially this past spring, it looked like The Notebook had been burned beyond recognition. Full Story

JailBait loveache

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 11, 2009 16:35:47 August 11, 2009 16:35:47

You know this generation. Nothing happens unless it happens online. Profound, emotional, relationship discussions happen online. You hookup on Facebook, you breakup over text. And you discuss your breakup on Twitter. This is how JailBait rolls. Miley Cyrus and her loser ass 20 year old off/on boyfriend Justin Gaston are evidently having love troubles. Full Story

Dividing the friends

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2009 12:41:39 August 4, 2009 12:41:39

Guy Ritchie went out with Jason Statham and Trudie Styler the other night. Trudie of course was the one who set him up with Madonna so many years ago. I wonder if they’ve amicably divided the friends. Jacek and I have already talked about this in the event of a split. You might think it’s morbid and sad. Full Story

Written for Jessica, meant for Lindsay

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 27, 2009 13:22:33 July 27, 2009 13:22:33

Jessica Simpson continues to hook up and break up with men who humiliate her. As if it wasn’t enough that he dumped her the night before her birthday, Us Weekly reports that Tony Romo apparently also announced the break up to everyone living in his gated community, informing security that she was no longer to be allowed access to his home in Dallas which is why a sign at the entrance has been posted that reads: "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN. Full Story

Famewhore loses Vagina Virgin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 27, 2009 12:35:32 July 27, 2009 12:35:32

Joe Jonas is no longer dating Camilla Belle. Her rep has confirmed it’s over. No specifics were given but we all know it’s because he was afraid of her vagina. A Vagina Virgin can’t make the next step, you know? Apparently Joe, because he can’t help reflecting his pain through his work, changed the lyrics to one of their songs Full Story

Enough wallowing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2009 09:08:34 July 22, 2009 09:08:34

Good. Porny is going back to the gym. She wallowed in her jammies for a couple of weeks after Tony Romo bailed on her and now, obviously, she called up Ken Paves, told him to do her hair, had a makeup artist come by and apply the “natural” look, and made arrangements to be photographed emerging from break up hell. Full Story