Being Bristol

May 12, 2011 10:25:07 Posted at May 12, 2011 10:25:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Duana

That’s my pitch for the name of the new Bristol Palin reality show. Or maybe I’m being too on-the-nose. Maybe it should be something like “All For The Good”, since she’s working for a charity.

Let me backtrack, in case you haven’t heard. Bristol Palin has signed on to do a reality show on the network BIO about she and her son – wait for it – moving to L.A. It’s The Hills but with a baby! (Whose name differs by only two repeating letters from your own brother. WTF, woman?) It’s The Osbournes with a wacky neighbour! It’s Audrina, with approximately the same fame-hungriness of both mother and daughter!

This show will costar Christopher and Kyle Massey. Both are Disney Channel Alums (remember Cory In The House? Just me?) and Kyle was Bristol’s co-competitor on Dancing With The Stars. Did I mention that this good Christian girl is going to live in a house with these two single boys? Maybe that’ll be the thrust of the show, you know? Maybe we should call it “House Rules!”

Why am I so obsessed with the title?

Doesn’t this seem like an NBC Saturday morning sitcom? “She’s got a new face, a new home, and a two year old baby! It should all work fine, but you know what spells trouble? …Two fun loving brothers – who are actors! It’s a calamitous, hilarious half hour, only on TeenNBC, right after Saved By The Bell!

You can think I’m being trite, but honestly, I’m tripping out about this whole thing. She seems like a cartoon character. Like Sonny With a Chance (yes, I have millions of these titles). First she had a baby, THEN she was on a dancing show, THEN she fixed her face – although of course the surgery was ‘corrective’, and had to happen six months before shooting by sheer coincidence - and NOW she has a TV show! Hooray!

Perhaps I’ve assigned too much significance to this woman. Maybe everyone has the right to make money on reality TV. But I’d have thought, perhaps, that this one-time teen mom who begged for privacy would, at least, explain why she’d made such an abrupt turnaround. To say nothing of the fact that two other people on this show are PROFESSIONAL actors. When can we stop pretending that ‘reality TV’ stars are anything other than actors? Can they put stars by their name so we know the difference between real people and their onscreen alter egos?

Starring Bristol*Palin ! See? That would indicate to me that it’s a different person than the one who registers at the DMV or pays taxes.

Or I could shut up, stop questioning it, and get ready for the episode where Bristol and the brothers have different opinions about decorating and hilarity ensues.


Photos from Wenn.com