Heather rocks the old school tits: CAUTION NUDITY

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2006 12:00:00 June 6, 2006 12:00:00
The British tabloids hate Heather Mills. So when they find something delicious and dirty on Heather Mills, they do not hesitate to take it public. Like these smutty old porn shots circa 1988 published yesterday in the London Sun. Something about an erotic love book, helping couples discover physical intimacy…Who cares? The point is, you get to see her breasts. And many people are calling them sagging breasts. Many people are disparaging the sagging breasts. But to those people I say - please don"t dump on the sagging breasts. Because they"re not sagging. They"re just not lifted, and we"ve become much too accustomed to surgically assisted perky breasts to fully appreciate what I like to call Tits from 70s Porn, characterised by natural hang and frighteningly large nipples. Once upon a time, this was considered attractive. I know this because they regularly show Euro "arty" flicks on the Independent Film Channel. "Arty" means that they smoke a lot of cigarettes and carry on 5 minute long conversations in the bathtub, fully naked. My husband subscribes to this channel because he claims to enjoy the movies. But he only watches the ones with French ladies who don"t shave their poons. Which brings me back to the boobs. They all kinda look like this in "classic" foreign films. And I don"t know why but there is a certain charm to polyester and porn tits, don"t you think? A comforting appeal that is lacking in the hard concrete ones that have defined the modern era. So while I"m not a huge fan of Paul McCartney"s golddigging ex wife, I"m not going to rag on her old 80s rack. I think her rack is nice. I prefer instead to rag on the fact that 50 million pounds is apparently not enough to support her greedy ass lifestyle. Now we talk all the time about how stupid Britney Spears is but what about Sir Paul? What about not securing a billion dollar fortune and rights to a small portion of the Beatles catalogue??? He married this bitch withOUT a prenup!?! Doesn’t that qualify as the dumbest celebrity, like, ever? Doesn"t it???

Previous Article Next Article