The Chicken Fried Factor

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2011 12:30:00 January 12, 2011 12:30:00

Last month when the Grammy nominations were announced, and everyone was talking about Justin Bieber on the Best New Artist list, I wrote the following:

“The Grammy nominations were announced last night. Justin Bieber, not surprisingly, was nominated for Best New Artist. Like Britney Spears who did not end up winning the award. If you’re only 14 years old right now, you may argue that Bieber is way bigger than Britney ever was. You would be mistaken. There is and was no bigger than Britney when Britney was BRITNEY. The closest Bieber can come to this is, maybe, a tie.”

No matter how badly she f-cks up, and how much fun we have over her f-ck ups, I have always contended that Britney is what none of her peers, and most of the current crop of child factory twats, could be. If there ever was a star that had IT, IT is Britney. And IT means that you stick around, that you take your fans with you, that they start at 14 and continue to 24 and 34 and beyond. Avril, who sold SO many records, couldn’t do it. Christina has not proved she can do it. And it is certainly not a slamdunk that Justin Bieber will be able to do it.

But Britney, she continues to do it.

The new single Hold It Against Me is a smash, breaking records for downloads and radio play. Let me repeat: breaking records for downloads and radio play. I LOVE THIS SONG. I can run to this song. I can roll down the windows in the car and bop to the song. I can have a dance party in the living room to this song. It’s a strong, strong song yes. But it has the added value of being a strong song BY BRITNEY SPEARS. Britney is always a factor.

And while others have to cart out their asses on carpets and shows and up in your face, tricked out and tucked in packaging, to move their products, all Britney had to do was tease it on Twitter… and it exploded on iTunes.

Here’s a girl with a permanently busted weave and a chicken fried brain, and she’s still tearing it up. That’s what they keep trying to find, in their Disney laboratories, at the mall at the talent searches, this is what they’re looking for, what they want to bottle. And still…they haven’t found it.

Meanwhile, the Original Britney is rumoured to be performing this track at the Grammys. According to Perez Hilton, where the report originated, her reps kinda denied it, but not really:

"We have not confirmed a performance at the Grammys at this time."

Please. We all win if Britney “performs” at the Grammys. Flying nails!

She was spotted at a dance studio yesterday. Rehearsing?

‘Cause you feel like paradise. And I need a vacation tonight.

Photos from INF 

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