Britney Spears and People Magazine
JustJared. This one about Britney is another one of those. Bullsh*t? Of course! But for the first time in a long time, I actually liked her a little, which is saying a lot. Now before some of you go rip roaring for blood, reminding me of the baby driving incident... YES – I am well aware she is a f&cking idiot. But it also doesn’t mean I can’t admire her PR team for putting out a decent little story in America’s favourite publicity bible about how Mrs. KFed is rebuilding her image and beginning the process of reclaiming her rightful place on top of the Poptart mountain. Britney says she is “bored” with the current pop landscape and that she misses being on stage, performing, stripping, writhing, lipsynching, and doing her thing like no one else. She also asserts that she is apparently capable of carrying a tune and would like to experiment with different types of music, perhaps reconnecting with her country southern roots. Seriously, y’all, the article is riveting. Sometimes I’m actually shocked that she put some of those sentences together. They’re almost, just almost, grammatically correct. Shocking, non? Unfortunately, that rat ass she married does manage to insinuate himself into the story, not in person but in smelly spirit, as Britney reiterates her admiration of his rapping skills and his attempts at channeling Vanilla Ice. However, I have to say, I am 100% behind a Britney redomination. Because she’s right. Dealing with the Ashlees and the Hilarys of the world has been some lame ass sh*t and my world has been a little less interesting since she buried herself in Cheeto oblivion. But the husband spoils it all. And if the Church of Scientology could somehow exert their power over this situation in a way that benefits us all, I for one would have to seriously consider immediate membership and subsequent sisterhood with John Travolta. After all, anyone who can save Britney deserves my respect.