Chicken Fried needs her breaks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 25, 2012 14:43:32 May 25, 2012 14:43:32

It was the first day of auditions for X Factor yesterday with judge Britney Spears. TMZ reported that she lost her sh-t over a contestant singing Hold It Against Me and took off, leaving the other 3 on the panel to continue during her “break”.

Britney’s people insist that that’s all it was: a break. Chicken Fried Britney simply needed a break...while her colleagues had to soldier on. Well that didn’t take long. How will this go on when the show has to go live? The answer, sadly, is that they’ll have calibrate her medication more effectively by the time all that happens. Otherwise I can’t see how she makes it the whole way.

And for what?

For $15 million dollars, naturally.

Britney has always been a people-pleaser. That’s part of the problem. She wanted to live up to her parents’ dreams. She wanted to be the big star to make them proud. She wanted to impress the producers, she wanted to be a good girl for the fans, she wanted to be a role model because that’s what they expected, she wanted to stay a virgin because they told her she had to be a sweet ...

So they rode her. They all rode her so hard she had nothing left. And the way they squeeze out the last few drops, for a new round of millions, is to impress upon her the importance of making THEM happy, the two men in her life. Who represent all the other interests that feed off her fumes.

Daddy will love me if I agree to be on this show. Jason, my fiancé, will love me even more if I agree to be in this show. Jason will be there, holding my hand. Jason is smiling at me and nodding his head in encouragement. I’m doing a good job. I’m making him proud of me.

There, there, Britney. Britney’s being a good girl. Here good girl, have another candy. You’ll feel better. Good girls eat their candy on time.


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