Britney on every cover

August 15, 2007 06:27:50 Posted at August 15, 2007 06:27:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

On the cover of almost every tabloid and even Allure – and almost all in agreement: Britney Spears is f*cked up and KFed is comin’ after her.

Leading the pack, as usual, is Janice Min, whose hate-on for Britney persists unabated. This time, the former nannies are coming forward, revealing that Britney boozed in front of her boo boos to take the edge off of her anger and resentment, that she would request her nannies get in to bed with her and the boys, that she regularly stripped down to her undies, painfully insecure, needing validation about her body hotness.

Needless to say, Kevin Federline and his lawyer want to deposition all of them, including Shannon Funk, described by my sources as “the blonde with the cold sore” at the OK Magazine photoshoot meltdown a few weeks ago. Shannon was subpoenaed last night while Britney is rumoured to be prepping an MTV VMA comeback according to the New York Daily News. My smutty gut says bullsh-t but whatever…the intrigue is irresistible. Can that lazy twat really get it together in time?


A spectacular failure on such a grand stage? Don’t lie. You would totally watch.

Having said that, there’s another rumour that’s gaining steam – that it’s actually going to be Madonna rockin’ the VMAs in advance of her new album release in the fall. Nothing slam dunk, will keep you posted.

In the meantime, about Britney. In addition to every tabloid calling her a tragic waste of space, Allure is featuring her on their heavily, heavily photoshopped September cover. See attached. As you can see, Britney looks lovely. As you know, Britney is not lovely … right now.

And note the headline: Britney Tells Us Nothing and Everything. Word is she was impossible to work with, that no interview took place. And so Allure is doing what OK did, supposedly exposing in minute detail Britney’s extremely unstable state of mind.

Consider the implication of this: Britney Spears was once on the most powerful recording artists in the industry and it has now become common and allowed to trash her, ruthlessly attack her in publication without fear of retribution and no legal team in place to protect her. Consider how far you have to fall to become that vulnerable.

I can’t help it now. I feel badly for her…is that wrong?

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