Britney & the VMAs

August 12, 2011 14:13:24 Posted at August 12, 2011 14:13:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please save this article to read when you have more time. Not because I’m about to drop something amazing of my own, but because these videos, they take some time to enjoy. And you will enjoy. Corelli and Eleni, I KNOW you will enjoy. And replay. And replay. And replay. That’s how I spent my afternoon.

The MTV Video Music Awards are happening on August 28th. Is that early? I feel like it’s early and I’m relieved because in past years, I remember always being pissed that the show takes place on the first weekend of TIFF when we’re balls to the wall covering the festival. Anyway, MTV has released a promo for the event that features Britney...

Click here to watch it. You’ll note that at the end of the 30 second clip, she stands in front a screen that says “A TRIBUTE TO BRITNEY SPEARS”.

I don’t know what this tribute is all about. Is it because she turns 30 this year? Don’t mean to belabour the point but 30 is hardly a time for tributes unless, you know, we’ve all accepted the truth: that she has peaked and it will never be the same again.

Even in this promo they have her so hopped up on happy pills, look at how she makes an entrance, bouncing in there like an Elle Woods wannabe with her mouth open and a fakey fakey cotton candy smile all over her face, no trace of the Strut she used to throw down - you KNOW the Britney Strut - and certainly no hint of the mastery she used to have in front of a camera, on a stage. Britney OWNED the f-cking sh-t. She owned it SO MANY TIMES on that VMA stage. And to see her, reduced to sitting on a couch in an overedited commercial with her unchoreographed legs tucked into her body like it’s a f-cking wedding shower and not a goddamn VIDEO...

All this does is make me long for what was. Which, again, is belabouring the point. The same point we’ve all been making for too long. It’s just...

When it comes to Britney and the VMAs...

If pop culture was your religion at that time...

She gave us a LOT of memories.

In 1999 she gave us Baby One More Time, before ceding the stage to N Sync and Tearin’ Up My Heart and Justin gets NO mic time whatsoever!!! Remember this world???

In 2000 she did it again. Oops. It’s been 11 years. And I know that you think you know how amazing it was but watch it again, and compare what she gave us back then to the sh-t we get these days by someone like, I dunno, Ke$ha, and, worse yet, by Britney herself... and you realise...

Goddamn she was So.F-cking.Good.

The next year was Slave 4U. Please. It requires no further introduction.

See how she committed to every move? See what control she had over every muscle? See how she finished every step ...and strong? I guess there’s only so much of that you can spend before it wears out. So when you say it’s a “TRIBUTE TO BRITNEY SPEARS”, I want to know if you make her sit there and watch what she used to be. And, at 29 years old, whether or not that’s considered an honour.

On a lighter note...

Earlier this week, I posted video of Justin Bieber watching Selena Gomez perform at Teen Choice - click here for the article - specifically noting, while squeeing, that I believe that Justin feels about Selena “the way you’re only into one person in your life the first time you’re really into someone and I don’t think that’s fake”. Just like Justin and Britney were not fake. And then a reader called Art reminded me of this video...

If you can’t watch the whole thing, just start from 4:10.

Come on. I would dedicate an entire liveblog juuuust to discussing this moment.

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