You know I was just thinking to myself the other day – we’ve been blessed by many consecutive weeks, almost the entire summer actually, without any Rossum. Perhaps sensing this, Rossum is back, and punishing us for lost time in the worst way with a triple dose of the special sugar-raping brand of nasty ass nausea only she can deliver. Full Story

6,000 fools actually forked out money for his lame ass rap? 6,000 people Rossum-ing from the ears? WTF??? By the way - he was apparently greeted by pappies the other day with the following: Hello Mr Spears! But according to Kevin, he would have been a slamdunk success by now if they had never gotten married. Full Story

Who??? Yeah, exactly. This is the first and last time the spawn of Hulk makes it into my column. Unless of course she decides to sit on and suffocate Paris Hilton, in which case she can have the whole damn page. Otherwise Brooke, please take your low classy animal and get the hell off the carpet. Next. Full Story