I was stumped for, like, three seconds by your Gwyneth obsession. After all, I think she"s no different from Cameron Diaz, SJP, Julia Roberts or Jennifer Aniston. All are shallow, soulless femme bots churned out by the star machine. Then it hit me like Madonna"s fakeness hit Sandra Bernhard. You"re a vampire! By sucking the essence of the "annointed," you probably feel like you take on some of her, er, whatever it is she has. Plus, it helps to paint you as a nice person, the fact that you like this likeable girl. It"s win-win. You worship her and she gets worshipped: she radiates the limelight and for a moment you get to bask in it. Quite pathetic.
Dear Garfield aka Gnow Nothing:
You must be new to my site. I"ve never painted Gwyneth as a likeable girl. Because it"s precisely her Unlikeable, snotty, holier than thou attitude that appeals to me the most. Read carefully, Garfield aka Gnow Nothing: Gwyneth is a first class bitch. The very best kind. As am I. Please don"t insult me by accusing me of being nice. I can"t think of anything more depressing.