Scarlett Johansson: becoming Cameron Diaz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2006 12:00:00 May 3, 2006 12:00:00
Just when you thought it was ok to fall completely in love with someone, they go and do something so d*ckhead you have to go back to the beginning and reassess your position. Such is the case with Scarlett Johansson. The sign reads: "I"m being harassed by the person taking this picture." Now if it"s one thing I can"t stand about celebrities, it"s when they piss and moan about the way they"re followed around, as if they"ve done nothing to warrant the attention. Dear Scarlett: it"s reality check time. And if you"re enjoying that $5 million salary you get to take home - you might as well swallow the lumps that come along with it. Studios don"t pay for no name actresses who don"t make it onto the pages of Us Weekly. And when you make it on the pages of Us Weekly, it means you"re being followed by pappies. And when you"re being hounded by pappies, you"re on the Hollywood radar. And when you"re on the Hollywood radar, your agent has the leverage to secure you the big bucks. Get it??? And please. Don"t tell me they don’t deserve it. If they were really doing it for "the craft" they"d be busting their ass off Broadway in some dinky sh*t little David Mamet wannabe production living on breadsticks and artistic fulfillment under the lights. Why don"t gossipmongers and smuthounds bother with true artists like Jodie Foster and Kristin Scott Thomas??? Because they don"t whore themselves out and then complain about the consequences. So when it comes to ScarJo and Lindsay and Cam and the rest of these whining bitches??? Save the river you"re cryin", "cause I ain"t buyin".

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