Sasha Answers: Can I time out on my relationship for the summer?
Hi Sasha, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years now. Problem is whenever summer rolls around I start to party a little bit. I haven't been completely honest with where I am all the time and a few weeks ago I kissed another guy. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after because I feel like I must not want to be with him if I allow myself to get into bad situations/pick hanging out with people that aren't him.
I love him so much and we can have so much fun together but lately I feel like I pick everyone else in my life over him. Do you think I jumped the gun on breaking up with him just because I wasn't willing to be honest with him? How am I supposed to know if I made the right choice?
A kiss is always a struggle for me; is it by definition cheating? Yes. Is the grey area enough to break up over? Well, not always.
In my experience you can tell right away if a person’s slip-up kiss is going to lead to future f-ck ups or not. For example, if it’s totally out of character, it’s never happened before, it lasted less than a few seconds, you were standing up while doing it, you have zero feelings for this random and you want to barf all over yourself from guilt, well then, chances are you were a drunk lush who did something super super stupid. In this case, I would take that sh-tty sloppy kiss to the grave and move on. It’s not worth fracturing a relationship over.
Here’s the thing though, I don’t think you fall into that last category because T, it frankly sounds like you’re just not ready to settle down and the kiss was your way of proving it to yourself. I mean, sh-t woman, a relationship is all year round, you don’t get the summers off. That’s just not a thing.
So here’s the good news - and I don’t say this often in my advice columns - you don’t even need my advice because as far as I can tell you’ve made the right decision. You pulled the plug before you blew that sh-t up. So good for you.
I know part of your struggle here is that you still have feelings for him, but homegirl, you’re not ready to have someone steady in your life right now. That doesn’t make you a bad person or a selfish person, it just makes you a single person, and from what I gather, that’s what you need to be for a little while.
Thanks for writing in and keep me posted xx Keep sending your LIFE + STYLE questions my way to firstname.lastname@example.org.