Smutty Social Media, May 2, 2016
That 70s Show reunion, minus Topher. He doesn’t seem like the reunion type.
Like many dads, David Beckham got a BBQ for his birthday. Unlike other dads he’s still highly f-ckable after all these years. (Oh and I love the world map wrapping paper.)
You know what? I would download the Rock Clock. You can sync your phone to wake up at the same time as him, but as he said, our candy asses probably aren’t ready for that.
From this historic day forward - I'm waking your ass up;). The #RockClock has arrived. This app is FREE. Download NOW in my bio. We've spent over a year engineering this app for you. Our goal was create a free, direct, uncomplicated, cool, motivating app to help us all get after our goals every morning. I also wanted to totally disrupt the traditional "morning alarm" system we all use on our phones. We created fun, cheesy bad assery alarm tones (yes, that's me really singing and playing guitar to wake your ass up;) and one of my favorite features of the #RockClock is the dreaded snooze button does not exist. Absolutely BEST part of #RockClock is that I'll be able to track all your goals and you'll track mine. We'll chase our greatness and kick some ass. Or get our asses kicked;) Either way, we'll do it together. Enjoy the free app, share your goals with me and world by using the hashtag #ProjectRock. I'll be shouting you guys out personally via video messages on this app, so let's chase our greatness, get after it and as always have some fun along the way. Aaaaand one more thing.. there's also a function where you sync your phone with mine and you wake up when I wake up. But your candy ass probably ain't ready for that kinda magical action 😉🦄. #RockClock #ProjectRock #ByeByeSnoozeButton #HelloGreatness
The “it’s complicated” of selfies.
Do you think Allison Williams heard the rumour that Anna Wintour may have been talking about her husband in the Met Gala documentary, The First Monday in May? Of course she has, but that doesn’t mean she would ever turn down this invitation – or Anna Wintour. I like this nail set for the theme though.
Hey people who think this is a real shark, read the caption.
Chelsea Peretti wants you to support her husband Jordan Peele’s new movie, Keanu.
ME AND JP GOT NO PRE-NUP SO GO SEE #KEANU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) April 29, 2016
Last week The Cut did a piece on the glorious Tumblr: Pop Culture Died in 2009. It’s written by a teen who thinks he missed the best of gossip. The category tags include “washed up” and “myspace”. He is already cultivating sources, and talks about Bella Thorne being the next Lindsay Lohan. The kids are alright.