Seeing celebrities in person is a double-edged sword for me. There’s the expected initial excitement of breathing the same rarefied air, the shock at seeing someone step out of a magazine and into your world, and of course that moment when you think if you actually walked up to them and introduced yourself, you would somehow become instant best friends for life. Ten seconds later reality kicks in and they’re shorter than you imagined, a spotlight doesn’t follow them everywhere they go and of course, in the flesh, they look decidedly less glamourous than you imagined - making you wonder why the hell we spend so much time smutting about them to begin with.
Now there are exceptions to every rule and I am devastated to have to tell you that Charlize Theron is an exception. Because, like so many other Vancouver residents who wrote to me last week, I saw her the other day. And in real life, the woman is rather spectacular. Apparently Stuart is renting a house a block away from my place while shooting Chaos Theory and she flew in to spend a few days with her man. So I’m taking my dog around the neighbourhood, getting annoyed at the fact that he was taking f&cking forever to do his business, when I see a tall, extremely attractive woman loading her own dog into the car. Great skin, great ass, very very nice eyes. And she clearly adores her pooch. At one point, she leaned close for a nose rub and a private giggle before giving him/her a little head rub and getting in the front.
So at this point, since I still haven’t clued in who it is, I’m definitely feeling all warm and fuzzy. From one dog owner to another, what’s not to love? And then I walk past and I offer a nice neighbourly smile but we lock eyes and I realize it’s her and I was like – Holy sh*t, that’s Charlize Theron. But you know what she did? She smiled back. A pleasant, not fake smile, too. Warm and totally normal. It was a short moment and then she drove away, leaving me confused and befuddled. Do I hate her or not? Do I chalk her Halle comments up to pure stupidity instead of thinly veiled racism? Or do I stay resolute and remain anti-Charlize fuh-evah? I’ll keep you posted.
Anyway, here she is at the BAFTAs tonight wearing a rather boring dress and wearing her rather usual holier than thou constipated expression. I can tell you for sure that these photographs do her no justice. In person she looks way better and way younger. Bitch.