Charlize Theron Gossip

Charlize Theron gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Best Breasts: Katherine Heigl

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 28, 2006 12:00:00 August 28, 2006 12:00:00

Real, full, juicy, contained – what’s not to love? Especially since this girl rocks a healthy body with healthy curves and a motherload of horny. And she’s nice. Did I mention she’s nice? Charlize Theron: eat your bitchy heart out. But one small, teeny tiny complaint? I hate the hair. It’s matronly, it doesn’t go with her tits, and I’m not saying it should be loose and slutty and something-to-grab-on-to-while-getting-f*cked-from-behind or anything but maybe just a little less grandma’s curlers, particularly with the hot black eyeliner, you know what I mean? Photos from Full Story

Paris Hilton’s Celebrity Lesson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2006 12:00:00 July 21, 2006 12:00:00

Beyond the art of infecting Hollywood with her legendary viral potency or fellating with fervour for the cameras, there are few things that Paris Hilton can contribute to the world of celebrity. We know she can’t act, we know she can’t sing, we KNOW she can’t dance, and please don’t insult me by making me assure you that the bitch certainly can’t write. Full Story

Beautiful Charlize shows some teeth

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2006 12:00:00 June 29, 2006 12:00:00

My big complaint about Charlize Theron, other than the fact that she"s a crusty bitch, is that she always looks constipated. Strained smiles, nose sucked in - it"s like she can"t bear to be where she is, like she can"t wait to get back to her bong on the beach. But take a look at the difference when she brings out the teeth. Full Story

My Favourite Lindsay Angle & the great leg debate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 29, 2006 12:00:00 June 29, 2006 12:00:00

Definitely the side profile. She"s mastered this pose and as you can see, it does wonders for her nose. Sigh. If only I had a good nose. So anyway, Lindsay showed up at Charlize Theron"s event looking less dirty face than usual but still pretty skitty in a white suit and yellow heels. Kristen L wrote to me today telling me that there"s a great LEG debate going on at her office right now. Full Story

Kate Bosworth: becoming Charlize Theron

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2006 12:00:00 May 3, 2006 12:00:00

As in non stop constipation nation. On promo for Superman and Bloomy"s blossom looks like she"d rather be anywhere but here. Is it just extreme hunger? Or is she depressed? And what"s with the odd, glazed, deadness in her eyes? Maybe I"m just seeing things but as my overly dramatic mother would say - these are the kind of eyes the spirits like to hover around and possess. Full Story

Sunday, April 30, 2006 Dear gossips, Wanna know what happens when a husband goes to Coachella for a debaucherous stag weekend? Well, in my husband"s case, his wife spends an obscene amount of money on clothes, shoes, champagne, and she also falls in love. Dear.Sweet.Goddess. I have never been so infatuated with a bag. The designer is Tammi Lyn and I walked in to Kiss & Makeup (exclusive to Vancouver, of course) on Saturday and I saw my lover hanging from a rack - called the Tassel Hobo, in case you"re wondering - and 2 seconds later she was draped across shoulder, pure rock and roll orgasm glued to my body - the best small fortune my husband has ever spent. But it gets better. It"s like finding the man of your dreams who is kind and funny and gorgeous and goodnatured and loves animals and saves koalas from extinction and then, on the day of your wedding, discovering that he is actually richer than ass with a sexual prowess that can rival Zeus. This is how I felt upon being told that my new darling is also worn by none other than Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie??? Indeed. Angelina Jolie. And yes, I am ridiculous and shallow enough to care. She wears hers off the plane and grocery shopping with her boys. I like mine more adorned, also in black, but with studs and a few bad ass rhinestones along the strap. Total gorgessity, non? Stag weekends are the best!!! In today"s issue: Angelina on Dateline, Wentworth on Ellen, Charlize Theron"s horrid hair, another Spears who can"t dress, and crushing on Madonna"s back up. But first - just a quick housekeeping thing. I posted every day last week and, Goddess willing, intend to continue spewing more often. So if you need to get caught up, or if you missed a few articles, go through "Last Week" and scroll down. And if you aren"t a subscriber, you might want to drop by for a quick check each morning. After all, we"re coming up on a blockbuster season of smut. You don"t want to miss a word!

Charlize Theron"s one big flaw

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 30, 2006 12:00:00 April 30, 2006 12:00:00

Aside from her personality, that is. Here are Charlize and Stuart at the Laker game the other day, awfully lovey dovey for a couple that claims to shun the spotlight. I hear Stuart is over the moon about getting back together, especially since rumour has it, she wants to start trying again. Uh huh. Bet your boob job you"ve heard that one before. Full Story

Charlize & Stuart: it"s over?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 12, 2006 12:00:00 March 12, 2006 12:00:00

The UK Sun is reporting that Charlize Theron"s 5 year relationship with Stuart Townsend has come to an end. However, despite their assertion that she was the one who pulled the plug, I"ve been given a different spin. Remember back in early January when I reported on a possible Charlize pregnancy Full Story

Worst Dressed: Charlize Theron

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 5, 2006 12:00:00 March 5, 2006 12:00:00

How surprised were you? Usually impeccable, always a winner, Charlize showed up without Stuart and clearly missing her mojo. I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong this thing is. And the attack of the bow is the least of our concerns. Her dress was sinister, it was dark, it was made worse by her makeup and the miscalculated hair and I don’t understand why someone with such small bubbies would accentuate that fact by wrapping up her bosom leaving nothing but a flat board underneath all that heavy fabric. Full Story

Loving Milla

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2006 12:00:00 February 26, 2006 12:00:00

Five reasons why: 1. Her name. Milla. Millaaaaaa. Meeeellllaaaaaaaa. It"s so dramatic, how can you resist the urge to say it over and over again? Meeelaaaa. Anyone with the name Milla has to truly FILL the name. You can"t have a mousy Milla who shuffles around all meek and mild with the mannerisms of an invisible bookkeeper, mumbling half her life away. Full Story

Charlize in London and in person

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 19, 2006 12:00:00 February 19, 2006 12:00:00

Seeing celebrities in person is a double-edged sword for me. There’s the expected initial excitement of breathing the same rarefied air, the shock at seeing someone step out of a magazine and into your world, and of course that moment when you think if you actually walked up to them and introduced yourself, you would somehow become instant best friends for life. Full Story