Cheese Articles

Cheesy celebrities doing cheesy things. Think Adrien Brody.

Annual Aspen Cheese

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 23, 2008 17:57:54 December 23, 2008 17:57:54

Every year, Mimi takes her cheese toe to Aspen, dressed up and down in the most ridiculous “ski” gear, clutching her dog Jack from store to store, pretending she’s cold but heaving her tits around for photographers. It’s become a tradition. And just because she’s married now, doesn’t mean traditions change. Full Story

Smarmy Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 5, 2008 09:42:24 December 5, 2008 09:42:24

Gerard Butler took his spittle mouth to the opening of the Avakian boutique in Beverly Hills last night, happily outnumbered by the ladies. Which might explain the smarmy expression all over his face. Sorry. I know I’m only attracted to infants these days – cute little actors who do not cross the Gay Math threshold – but it doesn’t mean I’m not down with the grown men. Full Story

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Not without his Elsa

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 25, 2008 08:45:51 November 25, 2008 08:45:51

Adrien Brody brought his Elsa Pataky with him last night to the Hollywood premiere of Cadillac Records. She’s the one who inspired him to buy that fake castle, remember? By the way, did you know that photo shoot originally printed in Spain and it was 40+ pages??? Of him in a bathtub reading a script with NO WATER IN IT? And leaning up against a tractor with his EYES CLOSED? Ugh. Full Story

Mimi Cheese at the AMAs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 24, 2008 07:19:12 November 24, 2008 07:19:12

My favourite moment? Nick Cannon’s useless cameo! Oh Mimi... Only Mimi… As Mimi took the stage, her husband waited to take her hand, helping her down one little step, then was banished away into the wings having fulfilled his only duty. He was called on to do the same backstage in the press room. Full Story

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JailBait, Gay Pilots, Soul Patches, and Mr T

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2008 10:18:52 November 18, 2008 10:18:52

Last night at the Hollywood premiere of Bolt, going head to head with Twilight at the box office this weekend. Family movies vs Vampires and Bond too. It’s a heavyweight battle. Who wins? I’ll settle for Twilight or Bond > the Gay Pilot and JailBait…you? Here’s Travolty on the carpet with Disney JailBait and her beat-me mouth and also her father Billy Ray Cyrus with that f-cking ridiculous soul patch that’s right up there with acid wash as a label for Loser. Full Story

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Cheese Toe Christmas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 13, 2008 16:07:24 November 13, 2008 16:07:24

Hello Kitty Mimi’s on the cover of the holiday issue of Redbook. As usual, because she’s generous like that, Mimi doles out some cheesy gems, including how she plans on celebrating Christmas with her new husband Nick Cannon. "I always get Santa lingerie, even if nobody sees it. But this year it will be appreciated!" Please. Full Story

Gay Pilots, Androgens, and JailBait too!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 10, 2008 11:37:19 November 10, 2008 11:37:19

Check out John Travolty tryin’ to rock the butch. And look how happy he is to be acting with pretty Jonathan Rhys Meyers in a new movie called From Paris with Love. Xenu’s main ‘mo apparently plays a spy. There are many high end luxe spas in Paris though they may not be familiar with his massage requests… which, as legend goes, involve a man and a finger up the ass. Full Story

Look for the Cheese Toe!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 6, 2008 07:53:04 November 6, 2008 07:53:04

You know she wants you to! Mariah Carey in leggings and a t shirt flirting with a camel toe. Do you see? Here’s our gift that keeps giving: Mimi Cheese arriving at her hotel in London today in advance of her appearance on X Factor. As you can see, Nick Cannon came along too, dressed in his finest to escort his wife to and from the car, up and down the stairs, into the loo when she needs to pee. Full Story

The Naked Holiday

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 31, 2008 07:39:41 October 31, 2008 07:39:41

When did Halloween become an excuse to take your clothes off and call it a costume? Actually, applying that criteria, every day must be Halloween for Mariah Carey. Check out Miss Cheese last night undressed as a fireman with her husband Nick Cannon in New York for a party. I’m sorry. I know. It’s a bad example and not good for the children but … this sh-t makes my life. Full Story

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GOOP

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 23, 2008 07:10:00 September 23, 2008 07:10:00

Had dinner with the girls recently… Julie is pregnant, Erin is a doula, and she suggested that before the baby comes, we all get together for some kind of chick bond. Something about feeling and sharing. I asked her if she wanted me to bring my spirit drum to ring in the joy, to help us dance around like no one’s watching. Full Story