Holy Steeze & Chelsea attacks
The Brange spent the weekend in New York in advance of tonight’s premiere of The Tourist at the Ziegfeld Theatre. On Saturday the Brange hit up Lee’s Art Shop with the Holy Twins. It’s a family favourite – they’ve previously been there with all four of their other kids, now it’s time for Twin initiation. As you can see, Angelina Jolie is officially the worst dressed member of the pack. Because even the babies are better styled than she is. Those coats are killing me. And the headgear – I especially like the white knit hood. And also the footwear. Grey suede baby booties? And mini motoboots? Please. Obviously Brad Pitt is responsible for the fashion in the household.
Of course it’s like a schedule now, right? When the Brange is on the sell, the children come out to play. And if you believe The Hollywood Reporter, The Tourist will need some help. According to them, Tron and The Tourist have been tracking below expectations. Yogi Bear on the other hand is poised to exceed them. Like, WHAT THE F-CK?!
Maybe it’s that dumbass Tourist trailer. I saw a better one for it this weekend, one that didn’t make Johnny Depp look like such a dolt, but I worry that it’s too late. For the sake of the Movie Star, and to avoid having Justin Timberlake shoved down our throats, it’s in all of our best interests for The Tourist to not suck.
Chelsea Handler however disagrees.
Chelsea performed in New Jersey on Friday and tried out a new punchline: “Angelina Jolie is a c-nt”.
Great. I’m all for taking down the Jolie, sure. I love it when it’s clever too. Michael K over at Dlisted calls it a “hypnotic vagina” and it’s always, always hilarious. Without an agenda. But is this really because Chelsea wants to take down the Jolie, or because Jennifer Aniston wants her to take down the Jolie? Are you badass if you’re acting on the interests of your new best friend, who helps book better guests on your show, with whom you share a publicist? Or ... are you just the same kind of famewhore who has to participate in some good old Hollywood give and take? Because before she and Jen got close, Chelsea was an equal opportunity ragger, and Aniston was a target alongside Angelina Jolie.
Now it’s Thanksgiving and Mexico with Jen – and some party favours too, no doubt – and the Jolie is a c-nt. I remember when Chelsea used to straight up ask her guests the questions we actually wanted answered, but only funnier. Now Chelsea brings on Taylor Swift and doesn’t even mention Jake Gyllenhaal AND Gwyneth Paltrow without taking a shot at GOOP. Where did Chelsea go?
Photos from Jackson Lee/Splashnewsonline.com