Chinese Squawking Chicken Articles

Friday, January 24, 2014
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Dear Gossips,

It’s Grammy weekend. It’s also the last weekend before Chinese New Year. Let’s start there. We clean before Chinese New Year. We get rid of the sh-t from the previous year to clear a path for the good luck of next year. According to my ma, the Squawking Chicken, and you should always Listen To The Squawking Chicken (which happens to be the name of my upcoming book, due out April 1 in Canada and April 22 in the US, click here to pre-order and, did I just do that? Did I just pimp my book and drop it into conversation for no reason like I’m talking about my pregnancy? Yes, yes I did), this weekend is a “lucky” weekend to clean. You should still clean on New Year’s Eve, which is Thursday, January 30, but doing it specifically this weekend might get you some bonus points too.  Read Full Intro

First a bridesmaid…

December 10, 2013 18:36:49 Posted at December 10, 2013 18:36:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

Mila Kunis was part of her brother’s wedding the other day. The bridesmaid dresses were blush pink and strapless. Definitely not something she’d wear on a red carpet…but it wasn’t about her. And I feel like Mila’s the kind of girl who knows when it’s not about her. Full Story

Mrs Timberlake’s holiday spirit

December 4, 2013 20:21:23 Posted at December 4, 2013 20:21:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What’s your holiday style? Are you a Mariah Carey? Mimi may have taken over Christmas but she does keep it pretty traditional (aside from her tits). It’s red, white, and gold but never green (see Dean’s rules to a Mimi Christmas here Full Story

Wednesday, November 13, 2013
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Dear Gossips,

Duana asked me last night how my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, reacted to the announcement of my upcoming book about her, Listen To The Squawking Chicken. Well, she came over yesterday when I was at work to drop off some ginseng soup. Normally she doesn’t come inside because she blames my dogs for getting their fur all over her clean clothes. But she had to pee and used the upstairs bathroom, my bathroom. I left in a rush in the morning and it was a hair wash day so there was long black hair all over the tub. The only thing she said to Jacek during the entire visit was, “If you’re not going to clean your house every day you should hire a cleaning service”. And then she hobbled her way out the door. I wrote a book, but the Squawking Chicken still thinks I’m a filthy pig.  Read Full Intro

I wrote a book

November 12, 2013 20:38:53 Posted at November 12, 2013 20:38:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Shameless self-promotion here but this was the deadline I’ve been referring to. I was writing a book. I WROTE A BOOK!  The book is called "Listen to the Squawking Chicken: When Mother Knows Best, What's a Daughter To Do? A Memoir (Sort Of)”. So now you know who the true star is here: the Chinese Squawking Chicken. Full Story

Thursday, September 26, 2013
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Dear Gossips,

It was Poo Day yesterday on The Social. Yeah so it took four weeks. Just four weeks and we were able to feature my favourite subject on the show and talk about how my poo comes out in pellets – and demonstrated their different pellet shapes with play-dough – because I’m chronically constipated. The suggestion: coconut oil. Am supposed to be starting the day with a spoonful of it. And I picked up my new favourite expression: Brown Star. Have you used your Brown Star today?

Today is my 40th birthday! I really hope I get to use my Brown Star on my 40th birthday. It’s a milestone number. Which is why I’m making such a big ass deal of it. But mostly, what’s great about my birthday is that it’s a day before Gwyneth’s.  Read Full Intro

Posh covers China Vogue and at Wimbledon

July 8, 2013 17:24:10 Posted at July 8, 2013 17:24:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Clive Brunskill/ Getty

What’s the Anna Wintour policy on Vogue international covers? How long must the gap be between a Vogue cover in China and the cover of US Vogue? Victoria Beckham covers the August issue of China Vogue. The US Vogue September cover already belongs to Jennifer Lawrence. That leaves 3 months if Posh is to make her life’s dream. Full Story

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Miley’s family drama

June 25, 2013 16:16:02 Posted at June 25, 2013 16:16:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

Tish Cyrus, Miley’s mother, filed for divorce from Billy Ray Cyrus 10 days ago. Around that time, Miley tweeted at her dad, apparently because she couldn’t reach him by private communication, social networking being her last resort. Then, last week, the Cyrus family was photographed Full Story

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Now THIS is fluffy

February 18, 2010 13:21:00 Posted at February 18, 2010 13:21:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Jacek I’ve basically ordered Lainey to go to sleep for a few hours at this stage in the day cause I can sense she’s about to crash. More from her to come later in the day but for now I’m stepping in for one or two words. Lainey might have already mentioned this but if she did I missed it. Full Story

Now that’s a coat

January 25, 2010 16:30:14 Posted at January 25, 2010 16:30:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Burberry, of course it is. The new Burberry is not for my mother. She has a lot to say about this. She’s has two Burberry trenchcoats, a navy long one that’s 20 years old, and a shorter khaki about 15 years old, both in perfect condition. It was great quality. Or, as she says it, “goot colly”, translation: good quality. Full Story

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Susan doesn’t need a Third Lip

November 25, 2009 13:22:31 Posted at November 25, 2009 13:22:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For those new to the site: We Asians look young for a long time. I still get carded for alcohol sometimes. But the thing about Asians is that as soon as 60 comes around, it’s old and fast and overnight. One day you go to bed and it’s all good. Wake up the next morning and 70 years of your life is written all over your face. Full Story

Hot Friday Hot Harry

August 14, 2009 16:03:11 Posted at August 14, 2009 16:03:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It is so f-cking hot here in Toronto. And this is Hot Harry on a Horse not on a horse at a wedding in London with his brother and also Kate Middleton. I was married on a Friday. My mother consulted a feng shui master for the date. And that Friday was deemed a fortuitous day according to our birthdays and birth times. Full Story

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Leather pants and platforms

July 2, 2009 07:41:26 Posted at July 2, 2009 07:41:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning yesterday on the set of The Runaways working that old school style. High waist leather pants. Please. If I put those on I’d be the Chinese Porny Simpson. Kristen however looks amazing. There’s a cute, cute, CUTE body under there. As for those platforms, my mother had a pair. Full Story

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Is that the only reason?

March 11, 2009 08:46:08 Posted at March 11, 2009 08:46:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

JailBait Miley Cyrus is currently on some kind of promotional tour – book, movie, virginity – and was on the radio yesterday with Detroit’s Mojo in the Morning on WKQI when she was asked when she and that f-cking 20 year old loser she’s dating Justin Gaston are moving in together. Full Story