Chinese Squawking Chicken Articles

My Ma or things she would say or do.

Jolie damed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 16, 2014 13:56:32 June 16, 2014 13:56:32
Photos:
FameFlynet

It’s Dame Angelina now. Queen Elizabeth made Angelina Jolie an honourer Commander of the Most Distinguished Order of St Michael and St George on Friday on a Birthday Honours list that also included Daniel Day-Lewis, Maggie Smith, and Damian Lewis. Some of you complained. And I would agree with you – that she’s a Hollywood star, and an American, and sure she just came off a busy week for the Global Summit To End Sexual Violence In Conflict but there are non-famous heroes who deserve recognition and crabby crabby crabby crabby crabby crabby – but, you know, talk to me when you’re finished bitching about the guy from Homeland. Full Story

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Monday, April 28, 2014

Dear Gossips,

What do you want to talk about today? Want to talk about how I wish I had a dire wolf and would give up all gifts for the rest of my life in exchange for one? Probably not. Or how about Selena Gomez and...Orlando Bloom? Not that either.  Read Full Intro

I'm a Page Turner

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 25, 2014 13:42:39 April 25, 2014 13:42:39

I am an only child. My parents divorced when I was six years old. I wasn’t an outgoing person. I didn’t have a lot in common with the other kids at school, often being the only Chinese student in a classroom full of people whose parents also grew up in Canada or in other parts of the world where English is the first language. Full Story

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Dear Gossips,

Have you heard the “sad” version of Pharrell’s Happy by Woodkid? Have attached below. I’m obsessed. When I listen to it I picture Gwyneth Paltrow in her garden, picking vegetables, ruminating on life.  Read Full Intro

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Dear Gossips,

I’m wearing earrings today. Little studs my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, shoved at me at her birthday party on Saturday. Not a gift though. It’s a fortune telling/feng shui good luck thing. Because I don’t normally do accessories.  Read Full Intro

Robert Pattinson drags a cow

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2014 20:26:48 February 26, 2014 20:26:48
Photos:
Macca/ Splash

How about one for the Twi-Hards? Robert Pattinson is working on a film in Toronto. I live in Toronto. He was on set today with a cow. Dragging the cow. I am a cow. A f-cking cow. Let's just go ahead and call the cow Lainey, even though Lainey is a blonde cow. They couldn't find a dark brown cow? It does make a lot of sense though. Full Story

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Gwyneth & Charlize: Rats & Rabbits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2014 14:29:41 February 24, 2014 14:29:41
Photos:
FameFlynet

Gwyneth Paltrow went to a party at Charlize Theron’s yesterday. G and Charlize were also hanging out at Sean Penn’s Haiti fundraiser a few weeks ago. So I guess she really is friends with everyone except for Madonna. Still. And she’s going to need her friends, especially the Tigers, this year. Full Story

Friday, January 31, 2014

Dear Gossips,

I feel like it's kinda perfect that the Super Bowl is happening over Chinese New Year weekend. Feasting and celebrating is always good this time of year -- good luck likes a party. When my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, was heading into a really, really sh-t cycle for Tigers (she's a Tiger Mother for real), she insisted on a major birthday party, even more extravagant than usual, so that the happiness and goodwill generated on the occasion might provide some padding against what she was facing. She ended up in hospital a few months later, the beginning of what would be a brutal fight against a rare disease. Which she's still recovering from. But the point is - she's recovering. And she often says that party may have been the difference between recovery and loss. Or she could just be saying that because Jacek and I paid for that party, as we do all her parties, and she's telling us that we have to keep doing it. Guess whose birthday happens in a month?

The blog may be lighter today for Chinese New Year. Back to full schedule on Monday.

May the Horse be kind, gentle, and forgiving. May you be happy and healthy and loved this year.

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY! Happy New Year!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Dear Gossips,

After yesterday’s open about the Year of the Horse being sh-tty for those who are born Rats (click here for a refresher), I received a few emails, some complaining about the Rat getting all the attention.  Read Full Intro