Try to breathe

October 14, 2008 12:19:00 Posted at October 14, 2008 12:19:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’m warning you. If you are operating machinery, if you are holding your baby, if you are prone to swooning, you need to gird yourself, girls and gays…

Because this man.

OMFG this man.

It’s Colin Farrell at a presser for Pride & Glory.

Sweet mother nature of all loins, you are dead inside if you aren’t quivering in your secret places.

And it’s about to get worse.

Have you seen Colin on Jonathan Ross? It aired in the UK last week, taped on Wednesday, perhaps his most candid television interview ever.

Sexiest mother&cker ever.

He discusses sobriety, he DISCUSSES HIS SEX TAPE (have you seen the sex tape???), and he discusses the time he gave the gears to a 70 year old woman and was rejected.



Colin Farrell wanted to f-ck a 70+ year old woman and gift her with the night of her life.

Her name?

Dame Eileen Atkins.

It was 3 years ago. She says, and he admits it too!, that he wanted to have sex with her  – so badly that he spent 2 and a half hours cajoling, pleading, BEGGING her for a piece of senior ass.

Said Dame Eileen: "I was doing a movie, and three weeks before my 70th birthday, a simply stunningly gorgeous big film star, aged 28 years old, came into my hotel room for sex without strings. Yes, I spent two-and-a-half hours saying no. It was pure bliss, and it made me sail through my 70th birthday without a care in the world."

The Dame admitted that she was tempted to cheat on her husband but couldn’t go there in the end because, as she explains it:

"Of course I was (tempted)! But I just kept saying, this is deeply inappropriate. It cheered me up fantastically. I said no in the end because he said 'You won't do it because your body isn't as good as it was when you were young, isn't it? That's why you're saying no'.

He said 'I don't care about that, I don't care', but that was why, because I'm too proud of how I looked when I was younger.”

Are you dying?

I’m dying.

He spent almost 3 hours blue balling for a silver fox when he could have had a 20 year old twat with a killer body and a martial arts ass…which means he’d totally get it up for you too.


No matter your age, your size, even your colour…

This is what I love about Colin Farrell – coming from a Chinese girl (and you girls who are also visible minorities can attest to this) – some dudes you know it, they’re just not into anything un-vanilla.

But Colin?

Colin’s down with it all.

You know what he calls her?

He calls Dame Eileen “the one that got away”.


Now you know. Now you know why he’s the new #1.

Colin on Jonathan Ross below. Try to breathe.

Part 1

Part 2

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