David Beckham is the Sexiest Man Alive 2015

November 18, 2015 14:43:58 Posted at November 18, 2015 14:43:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So David Beckham is PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2015. Don’t think he would have showed up on very many prediction lists.

I mean, on attractiveness, I guess it’s a better choice than Adam f-cking Levine. And he does look hotter than he has in a while on the cover and in the photo shoot. But “hotter than he has in a while” is the point. Um, we can all agree that Becks isn’t in his prime, right? Are you going to yell at me about this? We’re objectifying a man here and I’m happy to do it.

When was Becks in his prime? Well, in his prime, about 10 or 11 years ago, we were gossiping about his alleged affair with Rebecca Loos. And Sarah Marbeck. And Esther Canadas. You almost forgot though, didn’t you? The MiniVan Majority totally did.

So, given that Becks is retired and isn’t actively promoting anything, how was he selected? He’s expressed an interest in maybe acting, there’s that. And he supports several charitable causes. And, yes, he’s legitimately an international personality, universally recognised, his attractiveness universally accepted. On relevance though…

Was he always the first choice? We’ve discussed before, most recently just yesterday, how the Sexiest Man Alive brand has kinda been in decline. You’ll recall, a few years ago, when Bradley Cooper was named SMA, rumour has it that PEOPLE supposedly went after Ryan Gosling first but he supposedly turned them down – which is why I always say that whoever becomes the SMA has to accept the invitation because, among other things, it comes with the expectation of an exclusive interview and images. I can definitely see Leonardo DiCaprio declining the invitation. And if I were advising Chris Pratt and they had offered it to him, I would have told him to decline too, on the basis that it shoulda been him last year and for some reason they gave it to a Hemsworth instead.

Becks is the first athlete to hold the SMA title in its 30th anniversary and also the only non-actor/singer/performing artist to wear the crown other than JFK Jr. By next year, it’ll officially be 20 years since a black man was declared the Sexiest Man Alive and, to date, there’s only been one, Denzel Washington.

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