I have never been as entertained watching The View as I have been over the last few months. And I have ALWAYS loved The View. When I was between jobs, when this column was just a fledgling newsletter, when Star Jones was still a fortuitous feng shui fattie, The View was must-see-tv, in between Winsor Pilates and lunch, The View kept me sane. Which is why I was worried at first, that Rosie the Nice, the one who played bells and jingles and loved everyone on her own talk show, I was worried that that Rosie would show up.
Thank Goddess that Rosie disappeared up Tom Cruise’s ass, replaced now by the bulldyke we know and love, taking on an even bigger Queen known as Donald Trump, who blew his billionaire stack yesterday over comments she made on the show about his hypocritical “second chance” offering to Miss USA. Granted, she did play dirty, she did bring up the past infidelity, she questioned his standing as a “moral compass” considering the failures in his personal life, but by far the most injurious blow was the bankruptcy reminder.
Forget calling him a cheater and a “snake oil salesman”…what really galls a megalomaniac like Trump is the insult to his bank account. And a result, the very manly man Donald Trump threw a supersized hissy fit yesterday on Access Hollywood, calling Rosie fat, calling her ugly, telling her he’s going to sue, and warning her that he was going to have his henchman or henchwomen taken away her girlfriend because Rosie is, in his mind, too unattractive to hold on to a nice woman.
Let’s not bother discussing the Low Classy factor of his remarks…waste of time.
Let’s focus instead on the Sexy Quotient, or lack thereof.
I’m all for a dude who stands up for himself – we were at the hockey game once and some drunk ass redneck spilled beer all over me and my husband got all hot and hunky in my defense and I totally got off on the swordfight …but there’s a difference, you know? Call me sexist but to me there’s a difference.
There’s a difference between a man crankin’ up the testosterone on behalf of his woman and a millionaire crankin’ up his queen-sized bitch and whining about it on national television because someone hurt his feelings.
As the Donald would say: the Donald is a total disaster, a total PR f&ck up. But the best part is that this prick doesn’t backpedal. Which means his hole is just going to get deeper.