Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

This pain in me...

June 8, 2011 12:35:22 Posted at June 8, 2011 12:35:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Is James Franco in my ass. Or, rather, his voice. Have you heard? He’s releasing music now. I don’t have the energy to put into my own words the definition of this kind of sound, so I’ll quote from “Franco is dropping an “EP of experimental electronic tracks with drag performer Kalup Linzy (who acted alongside Franco on General Hospital). Full Story

Skinny = Undouchey?

May 13, 2011 09:41:00 Posted at May 13, 2011 09:41:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Joaquin Phoenix who appeared in that hoax doc I'm Still Here or whatever was bearded, bloated, and vile. And tremendously unpopular. He might argue that "art" is sometimes not appreciated in its time but the fact is, no one got it, and no one f-cking cared. There may have been an excuse there about making statements about celebrity and fame and privacy - who knows? - but the undeniable truth is that Joaquin hasn't worked, properly, in something like 3 years and he still has a house, a car, food in the kitchen, and isn't about to get evicted because he can't keep up with the bills. Full Story

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Douches on a carpet

May 2, 2011 10:14:46 Posted at May 2, 2011 10:14:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tiger Jam happened in Vegas this weekend. How do you look less douchey? Stand next to someone super-douchey. Like, I don’t mind Keith Urban’s hair so much when Tiger Woods’s shirt and John Mayer’s hat get in the way. Right? I don’t give a sh-t who you are… Prince Hot Harry on a Horse couldn’t pull off that goddamn shirt. Full Story

He’s a dick but it’s kinda true

April 28, 2011 09:34:37 Posted at April 28, 2011 09:34:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Alex Pettyfer reminds me of the quarterback or whatever lead athlete character in a high school sports movie who cannot deal with losing and, like, ends up roughing up his ex-girlfriend, the cheerleader, who is now dating the new kid in town. It’s such a cliché, but that doesn’t mean archetypes don’t exist. Full Story

Young, famous, mean

April 18, 2011 12:29:00 Posted at April 18, 2011 12:29:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember when Lea Michele meangirled Hailee Steinfeld who then went on to get nominated for almost every major award and Lea had to swallow back her own sh-t and be nice to her at the shows? Blind, deaf, and dumb Glee fans were all like – no way, Lea could never be a bitch, she’s so nice and grateful on Twitter! Guess what? They’re young, they’re famous, and they can be mean. Full Story

No wife, no running & more from G’s dinner!

April 14, 2011 08:01:00 Posted at April 14, 2011 08:01:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chris Martin was the surprise guests at a benefit held at a pub in London last night. Just 48 hours earlier, he was in New York running from paparazzi after his wife Gwyneth Paltrow hosted a dinner party for her famous friends featuring a few recipes from her upcoming cookbook. SO MUCH MORE on that dinner party later. Full Story

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How a real man poses

April 13, 2011 16:50:01 Posted at April 13, 2011 16:50:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What? You mean this isn’t doing it for you? How can you not get hard for that straddled-led side-lean he’s working here? Not to mention the double finger pump. That pretty much has me cresting. Photos from Daniel Deme/  Full Story

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Franco: more and more like Lilo

March 23, 2011 07:15:49 Posted at March 23, 2011 07:15:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You know how she namechecks, right? Lindsay Lohan? Like she’ll have dinner somewhere and maybe Johnny Depp will walk by and nod his head because he can’t be rude and five minutes later on Twitter, Lilo will be all like – Johnny Depp came by my table and wished me luck. It happens all the time. Full Story

We need help

March 22, 2011 14:43:38 Posted at March 22, 2011 14:43:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So what did Chris Brown do today? Well, he was pissed that they wanted to ask him about Rihanna on Good Morning America and threw a chair at a window. though, ever the “fair” voice when it comes to celebrity reporting, decided to dedicate their coverage today about how supportive his fans have been. Full Story

That window could have been a face

March 22, 2011 08:07:09 Posted at March 22, 2011 08:07:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Change? Please. How long have I been saying that Chris Brown hasn’t changed? Again, it’s not that forgiveness is not possible. It’s that it has to be preceded by contrition and real accountability, both of which have been lacking on his part. Brown was on Good Morning America today trying to promote his new album. Full Story

Well, as long as he’s taking responsibility…

March 15, 2011 06:23:50 Posted at March 15, 2011 06:23:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I mean, I suppose that’s how his fans would defend it, right? There’s one in particular. She’s been writing to me for a year. It’s very endearing her loyalty to Ryan Phillippe. She feels that the way I’ve been commenting on his, um, dating patterns is unfair. She doesn’t believe that Phillippe ever cheated on Reese Witherspoon. Full Story

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