Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Porny Crack

February 10, 2010 12:17:00 Posted at February 10, 2010 12:17:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who else can entertain this way? Every time he speaks it’s gold. Full Story

Douchey misses Swifty?

February 9, 2010 13:49:56 Posted at February 9, 2010 13:49:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Taylor Swift is touring Australia. John Mayer, in yet another cryptic tweet, posted on his Twitter a while ago that he’s missing someone. What's that song that goes "It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need you now?" I like that one. Full Story

What is your hair?

January 29, 2010 08:01:36 Posted at January 29, 2010 08:01:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jared Leto showed up at a Calvin Klein event last night trying to resurrect his acting career with his hair… I guess. For someone like Robert Pattinson and the hair hysteria that exploded ovaries in tandem with his meteoric rise, it worked in that case because it seemed genuine. He just has messy hair. Full Story

John Mayer & Keith Urban Crossroads

January 27, 2010 12:59:23 Posted at January 27, 2010 12:59:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was taped last night. Third Lip was not seen. There was room for only one ego in the joint, it belonged to John Mayer. One source described it as follows: “he’s a rambling douche”. And his self-indulgent f-ckery wasn’t well received. Here’s an incident that sums it up: The musicians had plenty of opportunity to prep. Full Story

Oh Swifty...please be careful

January 27, 2010 11:32:00 Posted at January 27, 2010 11:32:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last night John Mayer was in Nashville for the Crossroads taping with Keith Urban. More on how that went down later. Taylor Swift attended amid speculation that she and Mayer are now dating. My sources tell me she was backstage before the show, totally crushing on him, very "smitten", flirting, like a young girl intoxicated by attraction to an older man, too young to separate artistry from douchery. Full Story

Mr Taupe is a sulky bitch

January 26, 2010 12:28:57 Posted at January 26, 2010 12:28:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember Taupe Garner’s interview with Parade? When she revealed that Ben Affleck courted her via email? Well, Ben was at Sundance the other day promoting The Company Men and was asked about Garner’s quote at which point he turned into a sulky little bitch and basically embarrassed his wife on television, not so subtly admonishing her for revealing their romantic secrets. Full Story

Jennifer Aniston picks another loser

January 25, 2010 07:28:37 Posted at January 25, 2010 07:28:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Spittle Gerard Butler clearly can’t follow instruction. All he has to do is pretend to be dating Jennifer Aniston until after their movie comes out. It’s only 2 months. But 2 months is too long. Especially for a pig like Gerry. Gerry likes to paw at people randomly. And he did so this weekend in Venice Beach. Full Story

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John Mayer is still f-cking Jen & Jess

January 20, 2010 07:48:00 Posted at January 20, 2010 07:48:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In his mind. When he jerks off. These are his go-to girls. For reals. And he admits it. To Rolling Stone. Have you heard? Here’s the thing... before we cut him down... I’ll take a John Mayer interview before a bland, boring, generic, cookie cutter interview any time. Like Jessica Biel in Vogue. Full Story

Worst Couple: Pity & Spittle

January 18, 2010 11:14:34 Posted at January 18, 2010 11:14:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She has spent the last 5 years trying to be known as something other than the TV Girl and the ex Mrs Pitt. Bless Ricky Gervais for introducing her as Rachel from Friends. BLESS HIM SO HARD. Oh and she felt it. Right up the slit in her leg she felt it. Jennifer Aniston wore another black dress, this time with mismatched breasts and a lot of thigh. Full Story

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Douchebag borrows material

January 14, 2010 09:03:13 Posted at January 14, 2010 09:03:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’s an artist. And the thing about an artist like John Mayer, one of the most pretentious artists in the business, is that he truly believes that his sh-t is the greatest sh-t of all time. That his mind is the most unique, most original, that his thoughts are the most enlightening and profound. Full Story

Full Porny < Tila?

January 14, 2010 06:59:20 Posted at January 14, 2010 06:59:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson went out with friends last night and cranked up the full Porny. For those of you who are new to the site, now you know why that’s her name. Porny. She can’t help but look Porny. Not with those breasts. Jesus, those breasts. It’s obscene. How does it breathe? You could put a tv dinner tray on her rack and it wouldn’t move. Full Story

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