Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Douchey is sorry. Always sorry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 06:54:00 February 11, 2010 06:54:00

John Mayer tweeted at New Year’s that he’d be taking some time to reflect, to cut off his Twitter musings, to try and tame his famewhore. That worked for about a week. Then he spoke to Rolling Stone and extolled the virtues of masturbation, revealing that he jerks off to his ex girlfriends all the time. Full Story

Porny Crack

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 12:17:00 February 10, 2010 12:17:00

Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who else can entertain this way? Every time he speaks it’s gold. Full Story

Douchey misses Swifty?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 9, 2010 13:49:56 February 9, 2010 13:49:56

Taylor Swift is touring Australia. John Mayer, in yet another cryptic tweet, posted on his Twitter a while ago that he’s missing someone. What's that song that goes "It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need you now?" I like that one. Full Story

What is your hair?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 29, 2010 08:01:36 January 29, 2010 08:01:36

Jared Leto showed up at a Calvin Klein event last night trying to resurrect his acting career with his hair… I guess. For someone like Robert Pattinson and the hair hysteria that exploded ovaries in tandem with his meteoric rise, it worked in that case because it seemed genuine. He just has messy hair. Full Story

John Mayer & Keith Urban Crossroads

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2010 12:59:23 January 27, 2010 12:59:23

It was taped last night. Third Lip was not seen. There was room for only one ego in the joint, it belonged to John Mayer. One source described it as follows: “he’s a rambling douche”. And his self-indulgent f-ckery wasn’t well received. Here’s an incident that sums it up: The musicians had plenty of opportunity to prep. Full Story

Oh Swifty...please be careful

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2010 11:32:00 January 27, 2010 11:32:00

Last night John Mayer was in Nashville for the Crossroads taping with Keith Urban. More on how that went down later. Taylor Swift attended amid speculation that she and Mayer are now dating. My sources tell me she was backstage before the show, totally crushing on him, very "smitten", flirting, like a young girl intoxicated by attraction to an older man, too young to separate artistry from douchery. Full Story

Mr Taupe is a sulky bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2010 12:28:57 January 26, 2010 12:28:57

Remember Taupe Garner’s interview with Parade? When she revealed that Ben Affleck courted her via email? Well, Ben was at Sundance the other day promoting The Company Men and was asked about Garner’s quote at which point he turned into a sulky little bitch and basically embarrassed his wife on television, not so subtly admonishing her for revealing their romantic secrets. Full Story

Jennifer Aniston picks another loser

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2010 07:28:37 January 25, 2010 07:28:37

Spittle Gerard Butler clearly can’t follow instruction. All he has to do is pretend to be dating Jennifer Aniston until after their movie comes out. It’s only 2 months. But 2 months is too long. Especially for a pig like Gerry. Gerry likes to paw at people randomly. And he did so this weekend in Venice Beach. Full Story

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John Mayer is still f-cking Jen & Jess

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 07:48:00 January 20, 2010 07:48:00

In his mind. When he jerks off. These are his go-to girls. For reals. And he admits it. To Rolling Stone. Have you heard? Here’s the thing... before we cut him down... I’ll take a John Mayer interview before a bland, boring, generic, cookie cutter interview any time. Like Jessica Biel in Vogue. Full Story

Worst Couple: Pity & Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 11:14:34 January 18, 2010 11:14:34

She has spent the last 5 years trying to be known as something other than the TV Girl and the ex Mrs Pitt. Bless Ricky Gervais for introducing her as Rachel from Friends. BLESS HIM SO HARD. Oh and she felt it. Right up the slit in her leg she felt it. Jennifer Aniston wore another black dress, this time with mismatched breasts and a lot of thigh. Full Story

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Douchebag borrows material

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 14, 2010 09:03:13 January 14, 2010 09:03:13

He’s an artist. And the thing about an artist like John Mayer, one of the most pretentious artists in the business, is that he truly believes that his sh-t is the greatest sh-t of all time. That his mind is the most unique, most original, that his thoughts are the most enlightening and profound. Full Story