Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Pip, just read the f-cking paper

December 15, 2009 07:44:00 Posted at December 15, 2009 07:44:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is what Morley emailed me earlier while we were all watching the livestream of the Golden Globe nominations in reference to Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake’s famewhoring during the announcements. He couldn’t help himself. He could not help taking over the spotlight. From the beginning when he claimed to have been nervous to every distracting maneuver in between, and even at the end – that’s all ah got, that’s all ah got – this bitch had to make it about him. Full Story

Ha. Ha. Ha.

December 11, 2009 14:25:00 Posted at December 11, 2009 14:25:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And this, motherf-cker, is what you call consequences.  Full Story

Douchebag is an accidental racist

December 10, 2009 06:47:55 Posted at December 10, 2009 06:47:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer, whose expanding ego apparently knows no limits, has apparently been trying his hand at standup comedy. Which is not surprising. If you’ve listened to any of his interviews, or follow him on Twitter, this bitch truly believes he’s the funniest sh-t since Johnny Carson and smarter than everyone else in the business. Full Story

Douche + Pip

December 9, 2009 09:06:01 Posted at December 9, 2009 09:06:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

They’re hoping Vevo is the music industry’s salvation. I just went to the site, it took a thousand years to load. Heavy traffic. In support of Vevo, many of the most famous and influential artists and players in the world showed up (or were summoned) to support the launch including Bono, Clive Davis, Justin Timberlake, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, even Shania Twain on a rare public night, and Sheryl Crow, the aforementioned Mimi, 50 Cent, and more…including John Mayer. Full Story

20/20 promotes Chris Brown

December 7, 2009 07:21:33 Posted at December 7, 2009 07:21:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This interview can’t be characterised any other way. It was a fluff piece. Robin Roberts and 20/20 allowed Chris Brown to repeat his empty apologies without qualification, without addressing any new questions, without pressing him on anything of substance. Oh great. We get to watch his “sorry” face as they played back Rihanna’s candid segment with Diane Sawyer. Full Story

So what will they ask him?

November 30, 2009 11:21:00 Posted at November 30, 2009 11:21:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Good Morning America took it up the ass last week when it was revealed that they’d invited Chris Brown onto the program to perform even though they’d cancelled Adam Lambert, thereby helping a convicted felon promote his new album. Although not admitting that they’re buckling due to widespread criticism, ABC has now decided not to feature Brown onstage and will air instead a 20/20 interview with the abuser during which he has supposedly promised to reveal what happened that night. Full Story

Crusty Spittle

November 27, 2009 08:10:20 Posted at November 27, 2009 08:10:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Spittle Gerard Butler was partying at The Groucho Club in London last night with Natalie Imbruglia and Kimberly Stewart, surrounded by paps when they left. Spittle had a short fuse as he was followed by a few embarrassing female fans who were getting lippy with him. According to the paps, the girls were so annoying that Spittle ended up snapping at them: “You know what, you go to get a f-cking life, is that what you’re about?” Maybe it wasn’t the most gracious thing to say but really… if you’re shaming yourself and giggling drunk ass around town in the middle of the night over Spittle Gerry, you’re asking for a bitchslap. Full Story

What’s red and swirly and douchy all over?

November 24, 2009 15:55:00 Posted at November 24, 2009 15:55:00
Jacek Posted by Jacek

Lainey’s teeth must be in some bad shape cause I still haven’t heard from her and it’s been almost two hours. Ouch. So here’s a little something for you. I couldn’t resist. Check out Stallone in his Ford Douchstang today in Beverly Hills. I had to do a double-take and read the credits twice to make sure he wasn’t filming a sequel to A Night at the Roxbury. Full Story

When Pee met Spittle

November 24, 2009 12:40:36 Posted at November 24, 2009 12:40:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer covers the new Details. Don’t ask me to summarise the article for you. Just know that he uses a lot of big word and puts them into abstract thoughts and jerks off to the sound of his own voice and the profundity of his purely original thoughts. Looking at John Mayer is stressful for me. Full Story