Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

John Mayer & Keith Urban Crossroads

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2010 12:59:23 January 27, 2010 12:59:23

It was taped last night. Third Lip was not seen. There was room for only one ego in the joint, it belonged to John Mayer. One source described it as follows: “he’s a rambling douche”. And his self-indulgent f-ckery wasn’t well received. Here’s an incident that sums it up: The musicians had plenty of opportunity to prep. Full Story

Oh Swifty...please be careful

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2010 11:32:00 January 27, 2010 11:32:00

Last night John Mayer was in Nashville for the Crossroads taping with Keith Urban. More on how that went down later. Taylor Swift attended amid speculation that she and Mayer are now dating. My sources tell me she was backstage before the show, totally crushing on him, very "smitten", flirting, like a young girl intoxicated by attraction to an older man, too young to separate artistry from douchery. Full Story

Mr Taupe is a sulky bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 26, 2010 12:28:57 January 26, 2010 12:28:57

Remember Taupe Garner’s interview with Parade? When she revealed that Ben Affleck courted her via email? Well, Ben was at Sundance the other day promoting The Company Men and was asked about Garner’s quote at which point he turned into a sulky little bitch and basically embarrassed his wife on television, not so subtly admonishing her for revealing their romantic secrets. Full Story

Jennifer Aniston picks another loser

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2010 07:28:37 January 25, 2010 07:28:37

Spittle Gerard Butler clearly can’t follow instruction. All he has to do is pretend to be dating Jennifer Aniston until after their movie comes out. It’s only 2 months. But 2 months is too long. Especially for a pig like Gerry. Gerry likes to paw at people randomly. And he did so this weekend in Venice Beach. Full Story

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John Mayer is still f-cking Jen & Jess

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 20, 2010 07:48:00 January 20, 2010 07:48:00

In his mind. When he jerks off. These are his go-to girls. For reals. And he admits it. To Rolling Stone. Have you heard? Here’s the thing... before we cut him down... I’ll take a John Mayer interview before a bland, boring, generic, cookie cutter interview any time. Like Jessica Biel in Vogue. Full Story

Worst Couple: Pity & Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2010 11:14:34 January 18, 2010 11:14:34

She has spent the last 5 years trying to be known as something other than the TV Girl and the ex Mrs Pitt. Bless Ricky Gervais for introducing her as Rachel from Friends. BLESS HIM SO HARD. Oh and she felt it. Right up the slit in her leg she felt it. Jennifer Aniston wore another black dress, this time with mismatched breasts and a lot of thigh. Full Story

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Douchebag borrows material

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 14, 2010 09:03:13 January 14, 2010 09:03:13

He’s an artist. And the thing about an artist like John Mayer, one of the most pretentious artists in the business, is that he truly believes that his sh-t is the greatest sh-t of all time. That his mind is the most unique, most original, that his thoughts are the most enlightening and profound. Full Story

Full Porny < Tila?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 14, 2010 06:59:20 January 14, 2010 06:59:20

Jessica Simpson went out with friends last night and cranked up the full Porny. For those of you who are new to the site, now you know why that’s her name. Porny. She can’t help but look Porny. Not with those breasts. Jesus, those breasts. It’s obscene. How does it breathe? You could put a tv dinner tray on her rack and it wouldn’t move. Full Story

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Cleansing didn’t help

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 13, 2010 07:16:42 January 13, 2010 07:16:42

You can’t clean a douche. Does that make sense? In reference to John Mayer...yes. John announced at New Year’s on his Twitter that he was taking a break from being a dick. So you’ve heard about his pathetic stand up comedy attempts, right? Click here Full Story

The Only For Sookie look

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2010 06:50:27 January 12, 2010 06:50:27

Remember True Blood last season when Sookie dreamt about being in bed with Eric and they were sex talking and she was all like, I know you’re not an asshole through and through and he answered something to the effect that his soft side was “only for Sookie”? Well isn’t this is the Only For Sookie look? Hot. Full Story

Emile WHO?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 6, 2010 08:54:49 January 6, 2010 08:54:49

Robert Pattinson was hanging out with Emile Hirsch in Cannes. We were there that night at the Du Cap when they arrived and, for Laura, I endured two hours of his bullsh-t before I made her leave. Because I could no longer stand Emile Hirsch’s groundbreaking Ph.D dissertation on filmmaking. Click here Full Story