Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Sit DOWN Centaur

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2009 14:03:36 December 15, 2009 14:03:36

Please. These ‘roidy motherf-ckers and their massive egos. First reaction when the ego takes a bruising is to call up the boys and pull their dicks out in retaliation. Who else but Alex Rodriguez? He and Manslinger Kate Hudson are no longer together. You’ve seen Kate in action. Through Owen Wilson, through Justin Timberlake, through Lance Armstrong, through Adam Scott… Kate doesn’t look back, and she most certainly doesn’t cling. Full Story

Best of 2009: Country Bitch ducking

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2009 13:32:53 December 15, 2009 13:32:53

She’s so f-cking famous that when she shows up at a TELEVISED hockey game in a large ass arena, she has to take cover like she’s the target of a heavy artillery attack. Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher (who is owning it for Ottawa this year trying to make a bid for the Olympic team) are dating. Full Story

Best of 2009: Billy Bob Douchebag

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2009 09:50:09 December 15, 2009 09:50:09

Best because he came out like a massive f-cking prick. For Billy Bob Thornton, life really was over as soon as The Jolie left him. Watching it back again, it’s even worse than I remember. And better. Back in April, BBT was in Toronto with his band promoting their new record. The Boxmasters stopped by Q with Jian Ghomeshi on CBC Radio. Full Story

Pip, just read the f-cking paper

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2009 07:44:00 December 15, 2009 07:44:00

This is what Morley emailed me earlier while we were all watching the livestream of the Golden Globe nominations in reference to Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake’s famewhoring during the announcements. He couldn’t help himself. He could not help taking over the spotlight. From the beginning when he claimed to have been nervous to every distracting maneuver in between, and even at the end – that’s all ah got, that’s all ah got – this bitch had to make it about him. Full Story

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 11, 2009 14:25:00 December 11, 2009 14:25:00

And this, motherf-cker, is what you call consequences.  Full Story

Douchebag is an accidental racist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 10, 2009 06:47:55 December 10, 2009 06:47:55

John Mayer, whose expanding ego apparently knows no limits, has apparently been trying his hand at standup comedy. Which is not surprising. If you’ve listened to any of his interviews, or follow him on Twitter, this bitch truly believes he’s the funniest sh-t since Johnny Carson and smarter than everyone else in the business. Full Story

Douche + Pip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 9, 2009 09:06:01 December 9, 2009 09:06:01

They’re hoping Vevo is the music industry’s salvation. I just went to the site, it took a thousand years to load. Heavy traffic. In support of Vevo, many of the most famous and influential artists and players in the world showed up (or were summoned) to support the launch including Bono, Clive Davis, Justin Timberlake, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, even Shania Twain on a rare public night, and Sheryl Crow, the aforementioned Mimi, 50 Cent, and more…including John Mayer. Full Story

20/20 promotes Chris Brown

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 7, 2009 07:21:33 December 7, 2009 07:21:33

This interview can’t be characterised any other way. It was a fluff piece. Robin Roberts and 20/20 allowed Chris Brown to repeat his empty apologies without qualification, without addressing any new questions, without pressing him on anything of substance. Oh great. We get to watch his “sorry” face as they played back Rihanna’s candid segment with Diane Sawyer. Full Story

So what will they ask him?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 30, 2009 11:21:00 November 30, 2009 11:21:00

Good Morning America took it up the ass last week when it was revealed that they’d invited Chris Brown onto the program to perform even though they’d cancelled Adam Lambert, thereby helping a convicted felon promote his new album. Although not admitting that they’re buckling due to widespread criticism, ABC has now decided not to feature Brown onstage and will air instead a 20/20 interview with the abuser during which he has supposedly promised to reveal what happened that night. Full Story

Crusty Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 27, 2009 08:10:20 November 27, 2009 08:10:20

Spittle Gerard Butler was partying at The Groucho Club in London last night with Natalie Imbruglia and Kimberly Stewart, surrounded by paps when they left. Spittle had a short fuse as he was followed by a few embarrassing female fans who were getting lippy with him. According to the paps, the girls were so annoying that Spittle ended up snapping at them: “You know what, you go to get a f-cking life, is that what you’re about?” Maybe it wasn’t the most gracious thing to say but really… if you’re shaming yourself and giggling drunk ass around town in the middle of the night over Spittle Gerry, you’re asking for a bitchslap. Full Story