Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

So what will they ask him?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 30, 2009 11:21:00 November 30, 2009 11:21:00

Good Morning America took it up the ass last week when it was revealed that they’d invited Chris Brown onto the program to perform even though they’d cancelled Adam Lambert, thereby helping a convicted felon promote his new album. Although not admitting that they’re buckling due to widespread criticism, ABC has now decided not to feature Brown onstage and will air instead a 20/20 interview with the abuser during which he has supposedly promised to reveal what happened that night. Full Story

Crusty Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 27, 2009 08:10:20 November 27, 2009 08:10:20

Spittle Gerard Butler was partying at The Groucho Club in London last night with Natalie Imbruglia and Kimberly Stewart, surrounded by paps when they left. Spittle had a short fuse as he was followed by a few embarrassing female fans who were getting lippy with him. According to the paps, the girls were so annoying that Spittle ended up snapping at them: “You know what, you go to get a f-cking life, is that what you’re about?” Maybe it wasn’t the most gracious thing to say but really… if you’re shaming yourself and giggling drunk ass around town in the middle of the night over Spittle Gerry, you’re asking for a bitchslap. Full Story

What’s red and swirly and douchy all over?

Jacek Posted by Jacek at November 24, 2009 15:55:00 November 24, 2009 15:55:00

Lainey’s teeth must be in some bad shape cause I still haven’t heard from her and it’s been almost two hours. Ouch. So here’s a little something for you. I couldn’t resist. Check out Stallone in his Ford Douchstang today in Beverly Hills. I had to do a double-take and read the credits twice to make sure he wasn’t filming a sequel to A Night at the Roxbury. Full Story

When Pee met Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 24, 2009 12:40:36 November 24, 2009 12:40:36

John Mayer covers the new Details. Don’t ask me to summarise the article for you. Just know that he uses a lot of big word and puts them into abstract thoughts and jerks off to the sound of his own voice and the profundity of his purely original thoughts. Looking at John Mayer is stressful for me. Full Story

Scabby needs a special light

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 10, 2009 11:57:08 November 10, 2009 11:57:08

Scabby was in Florida last week to launch her perfume (?) and I remember thinking to myself at the time that she did indeed look a lot less filthy in the pictures – attached. For starters,her outfit is almost decent. And it doesn’t appear like she just came from a session with an entire football team. Full Story

“Whatever” means sorry

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 27, 2009 12:37:29 October 27, 2009 12:37:29

Thanks to Erica C for sending this along – an article written by LZ Anderson for CNN Opinion about Chris Brown who is going on tour next month as a “fan appreciation” gesture and has just released a new video, conveniently around the same time as Rihanna. Full Story

Junior’s audacity

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 21, 2009 14:38:00 October 21, 2009 14:38:00

I thought it was stanky a couple of weeks ago when Tori Spelling and her husband KFed Jr were all mopey faced about her being sick. Of course they shared it on Twitter. And if you suspected it to be a sympathy grab, you wouldn’t be entirely off base. Because Jr’s ex wife Mary Jo Eustace wrote a book. Full Story

Selective clarification

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 16, 2009 12:19:53 October 16, 2009 12:19:53

John Mayer decided to clear up a rumour on Twitter yesterday. No, not that rumour. He ignored that rumour but instead addressed another one: Rumor check: went to gay bar in Palm Springs, yes. Had a blast. Danced my face off. Someone there planted a kiss on me? No. I don't like the story painting gays as unable to control themselves. Full Story

You idiot

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2009 09:48:12 October 14, 2009 09:48:12

etalk has the advance pages and I’m reporting on it for the show tonight at 7pm. It’s Us Weekly’s new exclusive: Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer. For the third time. Apparently she can’t get enough. Apparently he has some kind of power urine hold on her and she can’t quit the taste. Full Story

Who’s younger?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2009 07:19:20 October 14, 2009 07:19:20

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher showed up at the 2009 Freedom Awards last night in LA. Like, what the f-ck Demi? It’s not fair for the rest of us. See now I’ve been up close to this. I’ve looked at it in person. In person it’s not scary, it’s not grotesque, it’s not unnatural… It’s ridiculous, yes, but also pretty real. Full Story

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