Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Pippy Facebook

September 23, 2009 07:43:04 Posted at September 23, 2009 07:43:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Three weeks ago, a movie called The Open Road starring Justin Timberlake and Jeff Bridges flamed out spectacularly at the box office. Oh, you haven’t heard of it? It was so sh-t, rumour has it, Pipsqueak wouldn’t promote it. But still he keeps trying, trying to be an actor. Despite the fact that, given his track record, his music Midas Touch turns to poison on the big screen. Full Story

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Emmy NPH

September 21, 2009 07:27:37 Posted at September 21, 2009 07:27:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please. He was flawless. His white mic clip during the opening number was amazingness. So f-ck you Kiefer Sutherland. Did you see Kiefer’s bitchface after Neil Patrick Harris’s performance? Oh hi, I’m Kiefer Sutherland. I like to punch people when I drink because I’m a crusty prick, and suddenly I have the right to judge a song and dance number and deem it unworthy. Full Story

Douchebag weekend

September 15, 2009 08:42:05 Posted at September 15, 2009 08:42:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For Katy Perry. Page Six reports that on Friday night, Katy Petty was spotted at a bar making out with John Mayer. After the MVAs, she and Russell Brand were at a party and ended up going at it in a corner. It’s a like a douchebag buffet in her mouth. Full Story

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Taylor Swift & Kanye West

September 14, 2009 06:12:00 Posted at September 14, 2009 06:12:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Let’s make it about Taylor Swift first. Because he could have destroyed her. And not 15 minutes later she came out and delivered a performance without resorting to drama queen tactics. Can you imagine if that had happened to Lindsay Lohan? Lilo would have locked herself in her dressing room with her Crack Twitter and a razor and a paparazzo, and refused to come out. Full Story

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Saturday Night foundation

September 11, 2009 13:35:13 Posted at September 11, 2009 13:35:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ryan Reynolds will host one of the first 4 episodes of Saturday Night Live this season. Don’t ask me to tell you which one because I’m too lazy today to look it up, especially not for him. Can’t wait to see his foundation face. If you’re new to this site, please click here Full Story

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She’s not high fiving his penis

September 10, 2009 08:02:03 Posted at September 10, 2009 08:02:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What would it be like without John Mayer? I’ll never stop slagging him but I also don’t want him to stop asking to be slagged. So there was a story circulating yesterday that John Mayer has been secretly urinating on Kristin Cavallari from Laguna Beach/The Hills – click here Full Story

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Does she speak to her staff that way?

September 3, 2009 11:51:10 Posted at September 3, 2009 11:51:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Judge them on how they treat the civilians. Radar is reporting that Salma Hayek lost her tits last night because she could not get seated immediately for dinner at the Chateau Marmont. Salma did not have a reservation and when she was told that the patio was full she gave it to the hostess in Spanish, launching a diatribe that embarrassed her girlfriends who tried to placate her to no avail, calming down only when a table became available. Full Story

Spittle is a pig

August 31, 2009 13:37:28 Posted at August 31, 2009 13:37:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And his moves are for sh-t. One of my favourite John Mayer stories is when he once revealed, pre-Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston, that when he tired of f-cking hot girl groupies on tour, he’d dabble in the chunk now and again, because thick girls can be more grateful. And sometimes a cock needs a little variety. Full Story

Charity from a douche

August 28, 2009 09:53:46 Posted at August 28, 2009 09:53:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer couldn’t make a donation quietly, without fanfare. Of course not. Philanthropy is all about the attention, right? The shenanigans took place yesterday. On his Twitter John challenged TMZ to find his mug shot. So ensued a series of back and forth posts culminating in this photo taken several years ago when John was arrested for driving with a suspended license. Full Story

His yellow heart is so depressed

August 26, 2009 08:11:35 Posted at August 26, 2009 08:11:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As you know, Chris Brown was sentenced yesterday for beating the sh-t out of his girlfriend although if you clicked on People.com this morning you could have assumed that Rihanna deserved this. Anyway, on the same day he was sentenced, a “depressed” Chris Brown also put in some time at the recording studio. Full Story

Feel sorry for him, he’s depressed

August 25, 2009 18:04:26 Posted at August 25, 2009 18:04:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chris Brown was finally sentenced today for violently assaulting his girlfriend. Oh yeah, he also tried to kill her. TMZ reports that Brown claims that since he beat Rihanna, and was arrested for it, he’s been “depressed”. Full Story