Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

The Silver Fox vs Speidi

August 25, 2009 10:47:00 Posted at August 25, 2009 10:47:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He is… Scrumtrilescent. The f-cking best. Anderson Cooper last night devoted some time on The Shot to take one at Heidi Montag’s Miss Universe f-ckery. And he gave her the gears. He questioned her identity. Who the f-ck is she? He called her deluded. He said she’s talented and pathetic. Full Story

Piven’s douche moves

August 24, 2009 07:26:15 Posted at August 24, 2009 07:26:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not that this should surprise you but still… Somewhere out there, some women are rewarding these moves. Ed Hardy wearing douchebags are still getting strange, which means this sh-t must work. Jeremy Piven was in Toronto a couple of weeks ago promoting The Goods. Full Story

Keri Hilson: sh-t by association

August 20, 2009 08:29:00 Posted at August 20, 2009 08:29:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh look! It’s Chris Brown. And he doesn’t look contrite. No, not at all. In fact, Chris Brown looks like he’s in great spirits – happy, relaxed, having a great time shooting a music video in LA. And why shouldn’t he be living the life, enjoying the life? All he did, after all, was pound his girlfriend’s face with his fist, bite her, kick her, almost kill her, and walk away unpunished, no consequences. Full Story

He can wear pink

August 19, 2009 14:28:00 Posted at August 19, 2009 14:28:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not everyone can. Jacek can but chooses not to even when he looks great. He has the worst eye. But Ashton has a good eye. And when Ashton has no facial hair, he is f-cking gorgeous. This is Ashton in pink at LAX today working on Valentine’s Day. How many people are in this movie????? At this rate every scene will be 20 seconds long. Full Story

Unfixable

August 18, 2009 08:11:12 Posted at August 18, 2009 08:11:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was Sean Penn’s birthday yesterday. He’s 49. Two nights ago he was spotted in Malibu at Nobu leaving with a friend. Not sure if he celebrated with Robin Wright though it seems unlikely. Page Six is reporting Full Story

Pippy on a big boy bike

August 14, 2009 07:30:43 Posted at August 14, 2009 07:30:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Little Pipsqueak rode a man’s bike yesterday to Café Med after lunch. It’s the red backpack that seals it, non? Brad Pitt could carry this backpack off with an adult swagger. Justin Timberlake rolls around like it’s a Big Wheel Full Story

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Heidi Porn

August 13, 2009 10:10:00 Posted at August 13, 2009 10:10:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I don’t like writing about these two twats but today it must be done. Because you are still watching The Hills. And it needs to stop. As you probably know, Heidi Montag Pratt covers this month’s issue of Playboy posing with dirt smeared all over her and her mouth open like she’s ready to receive Spencer’s douche dick communion at a moment’s notice. Full Story

Punch your girlfriend, then go clubbing

August 12, 2009 07:44:35 Posted at August 12, 2009 07:44:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Awesome. Chris Brown was photographed last night arriving at Guys & Dolls looking sharp in a tartan waistcoat, clutching his blackberry, eager to get inside and have a good time where he’d presumably be surrounded by ladies at a private table, champagne and vodka freeflowing, working the dance floor trying out new moves. Full Story

How to get Strange

August 10, 2009 16:39:53 Posted at August 10, 2009 16:39:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My shamef-ck is Ed Westwick. For some of you, it’s Russell Brand. Don’t lie. I know. Especially if you’ve read My Booky Wook. Best title ever. And look at him. In London shooting Get Him To The Greek in his amazing exercise outfit skeezing out the world, loving every minute, and collecting a LOT of strange along the way. Full Story

How to behave

August 10, 2009 14:56:48 Posted at August 10, 2009 14:56:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like a douche? So apparently it wasn’t his mother – click here to read Sunday’s article about John Mayer out for dinner with two older ladies in his monogrammed jacket trying to be funny. Full Story

Monogrammed Douche

August 9, 2009 10:59:26 Posted at August 9, 2009 10:59:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Not sure what this latest f-ckery is all about except to say that it was no ordinary dinner with the moms. After all, it’s John Mayer. In a monogrammed jacket with a friend and their moms as their dates, surrounded by paps, no doubt another John Mayer inside joke that only inhabitants of clever cleverland will understand. Full Story

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