Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Doesn’t he look so sorry?

July 28, 2009 13:42:43 Posted at July 28, 2009 13:42:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chris Brown was in Harlem yesterday playing basketball. He went out to party afterwards and seemed to act all shifty and sh-t when a member of his crew spotted the paps. Why? It’s not like he’s done anything wrong, right? Chris Brown punched his girlfriend in the face and threatened to kill her, has done nothing in the way of countering violence against women, will not have to go to prison, sits courtside at basketball games, continues to make money, released a half ass, over-rehearsed lame dick apology on YouTube, and gets played at weddings by 10 million people… If I were him I’d be smiling too! I’d be smiling next to two FEMALE police officers – click here Full Story

Sulky Bitch bails and goes home

July 28, 2009 11:20:53 Posted at July 28, 2009 11:20:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Both Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were supposed to be at Comic-Con. She for Iron Man 2 and he as the newly minted Green Lantern to be paraded around for the comic faithful in advance of production. Comes with the superhero gig. According to Fox411 Full Story

Written for Jessica, meant for Lindsay

July 27, 2009 13:22:33 Posted at July 27, 2009 13:22:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson continues to hook up and break up with men who humiliate her. As if it wasn’t enough that he dumped her the night before her birthday, Us Weekly reports that Tony Romo apparently also announced the break up to everyone living in his gated community, informing security that she was no longer to be allowed access to his home in Dallas which is why a sign at the entrance has been posted that reads: "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN. Full Story

It’s helping...

July 24, 2009 12:23:00 Posted at July 24, 2009 12:23:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We are helping? As imaginary friends of Jessica Simpson, I think our work is working. No more articles on from “friends” describing that she’s sad and mopey and a total loser sitting on her mom’s couch drunk texting Tony Romo. Instead, two sightings in a row that reflect a more pulled-together, more positive, more defiant Jessica. Full Story

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Cruz and Becks matching haircuts

July 24, 2009 09:28:34 Posted at July 24, 2009 09:28:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Heh. Cruz has a hawk. And Becks is showing off a new cut too. I love. I die. While Posh was sitting stiffly on a swing yesterday, David Beckham took his boys shopping – I guess this is how they parent? Because Victoria takes them shopping with her all the time too. Like there’s no other way to entertain children. Full Story

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Gift from a Douche

July 20, 2009 06:55:30 Posted at July 20, 2009 06:55:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

How long before they get back together? John Mayer lives for attention. And he knows it would be a great story. Pisser is probably working it with Porny right now over text and Skype, perhaps he sent her a CD of tracks, new limp dick music to heal her broken heart. It’s apparently a move he uses often. Full Story

Smart Shelfy, Grumpy Pip

July 15, 2009 12:13:18 Posted at July 15, 2009 12:13:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’s walking her dog. She made sure we’d see he’s walking her dog – this is Justin Timberlake out and about with Jessica Biel’s remaining pet. Yesterday he was feeling crabby and took it out on a pap. Today it’s a much healthier outlet for his aggression. I noted that Pip’s pissy mood was a result of losing out on the Green Lantern – like a petulant child, accustomed to getting what he wants, and then being told no to a cookie, Pips is stomping around in a tantrum. Full Story

He peed on Porny’s love

July 14, 2009 16:22:32 Posted at July 14, 2009 16:22:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Why did Romo walk out on Porny? According to Radar John Mayer’s been f-cking around again. Word is everything between Jessica Simpson and QB1 was great…until last Thursday when he found out that Douchebag was still texting her. Full Story

Pippy’s in a pissy mood

July 14, 2009 15:06:01 Posted at July 14, 2009 15:06:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He must have wanted the Green Lantern badly. This is Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake in West Hollywood getting his balls all sweaty over a pap who wants to take his photo. As you can see, they exchanged words, and then Pipple smirked and let it go, because he probably remembered that at the end of the day, he’s better than everyone else. Full Story

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Convicted felon has a great time

July 6, 2009 07:51:48 Posted at July 6, 2009 07:51:48
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So he beat down his girlfriend oh just 4 months ago. And there’s no prison time, just a few hours of garbage duty here and there, totally manageable. Otherwise, life for Chris Brown is easy come easy go. No need for charity work, no need to spend time in the community giving back to those less fortunate, no volunteering at women’s shelters, no donations, nothing. Full Story