Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Douche so smiley

August 5, 2009 12:27:01 Posted at August 5, 2009 12:27:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Emile Hirsch and his girlfriend on the carpet last night at a screening for Taking Woodstock in LA. Emile so smiley! Emile, who only offers the most insightful insights on film, who knows everything there is to know about film, who honours his friends always with sermons on film all the time, appears to be exceedingly obsequious around the press these days. Full Story

Yellow means humble

August 5, 2009 09:03:34 Posted at August 5, 2009 09:03:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Right? Oh no, this bitch isn’t smug AT ALL. That’s not a smug face. That’s totally the face of a humbled man, in humble colours, not brash, not brazen, sincere and apologetic and ready to make amends. It’s Chris Brown at LAX arriving for sentencing today – just a formality, the deal was made weeks ago. Full Story

Ryan singled out

July 31, 2009 08:36:55 Posted at July 31, 2009 08:36:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thanks to all of you who sent this in – the New York Times posted an article yesterday about the house in the movie The Proposal starring Sandra Bullock. The family that owns the house was profiled because, for 3 weeks, the cast and crew took over their property. Very interesting read, definitely some insight into moviemaking. Full Story

Doesn’t he look so sorry?

July 28, 2009 13:42:43 Posted at July 28, 2009 13:42:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chris Brown was in Harlem yesterday playing basketball. He went out to party afterwards and seemed to act all shifty and sh-t when a member of his crew spotted the paps. Why? It’s not like he’s done anything wrong, right? Chris Brown punched his girlfriend in the face and threatened to kill her, has done nothing in the way of countering violence against women, will not have to go to prison, sits courtside at basketball games, continues to make money, released a half ass, over-rehearsed lame dick apology on YouTube, and gets played at weddings by 10 million people… If I were him I’d be smiling too! I’d be smiling next to two FEMALE police officers – click here Full Story

Sulky Bitch bails and goes home

July 28, 2009 11:20:53 Posted at July 28, 2009 11:20:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Both Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were supposed to be at Comic-Con. She for Iron Man 2 and he as the newly minted Green Lantern to be paraded around for the comic faithful in advance of production. Comes with the superhero gig. According to Fox411 Full Story

Written for Jessica, meant for Lindsay

July 27, 2009 13:22:33 Posted at July 27, 2009 13:22:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson continues to hook up and break up with men who humiliate her. As if it wasn’t enough that he dumped her the night before her birthday, Us Weekly reports that Tony Romo apparently also announced the break up to everyone living in his gated community, informing security that she was no longer to be allowed access to his home in Dallas which is why a sign at the entrance has been posted that reads: "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN. Full Story

It’s helping...

July 24, 2009 12:23:00 Posted at July 24, 2009 12:23:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We are helping? As imaginary friends of Jessica Simpson, I think our work is working. No more articles on People.com from “friends” describing that she’s sad and mopey and a total loser sitting on her mom’s couch drunk texting Tony Romo. Instead, two sightings in a row that reflect a more pulled-together, more positive, more defiant Jessica. Full Story

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Cruz and Becks matching haircuts

July 24, 2009 09:28:34 Posted at July 24, 2009 09:28:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Heh. Cruz has a hawk. And Becks is showing off a new cut too. I love. I die. While Posh was sitting stiffly on a swing yesterday, David Beckham took his boys shopping – I guess this is how they parent? Because Victoria takes them shopping with her all the time too. Like there’s no other way to entertain children. Full Story

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Gift from a Douche

July 20, 2009 06:55:30 Posted at July 20, 2009 06:55:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

How long before they get back together? John Mayer lives for attention. And he knows it would be a great story. Pisser is probably working it with Porny right now over text and Skype, perhaps he sent her a CD of tracks, new limp dick music to heal her broken heart. It’s apparently a move he uses often. Full Story

Smart Shelfy, Grumpy Pip

July 15, 2009 12:13:18 Posted at July 15, 2009 12:13:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’s walking her dog. She made sure we’d see he’s walking her dog – this is Justin Timberlake out and about with Jessica Biel’s remaining pet. Yesterday he was feeling crabby and took it out on a pap. Today it’s a much healthier outlet for his aggression. I noted that Pip’s pissy mood was a result of losing out on the Green Lantern – like a petulant child, accustomed to getting what he wants, and then being told no to a cookie, Pips is stomping around in a tantrum. Full Story