Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Where was your father last night?

April 3, 2009 07:57:31 Posted at April 3, 2009 07:57:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Mine was at home getting squawked at. JailBait Miley Cyrus’s was on the red carpet at the Hannah Montana movie premiere last night, spackled with a month’s worth of foundation, that f-cking soul patch freshly combed out, working the full douchebag pose in front of the cameras. Why don’t more people find this embarrassing? Why is JailBait’s mouth so embarrassing? Check it out, begging you to smack it. Full Story

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Our favourite line

April 2, 2009 09:19:01 Posted at April 2, 2009 09:19:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Mother of the Year Dina Lohan needed some leftovers last week. So she took her daughters Lindsay and Ali to Villa expecting to cougar-up on some of Lilo’s discards. Problem? Ali is 15. She looks 40 but her birth certificate says 15. So they were turned away at the door. Am shocked. Am shocked the guy working security didn’t wave them right through. Full Story

Obsessed with her looks? Her???

April 1, 2009 08:56:38 Posted at April 1, 2009 08:56:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No sh-t. And if John Mayer’s calling you out on your narcissism, what does that say about you? Yes you Jennifer Aniston. You. New issue of Us Weekly reveals that one of the reasons why they broke is because John could no longer handle how “obsessive-compulsive” Jen is about her looks. Full Story

Punching is not allowed

March 31, 2009 11:51:14 Posted at March 31, 2009 11:51:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We discussed this yesterday … Violence is never the answer. F-ck! Why not?!?!? Find me someone who doesn’t have the same reaction after seeing these photos. Full Story

Weekend, Week Begin

March 30, 2009 08:03:45 Posted at March 30, 2009 08:03:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer sent us into the weekend with the sailor shorts and, bless him, he’s now pulling us back out of it by smelling his lime green mankini while performing on his cheesy boat cruise. Are you a comic or a musician? He wants to answer both. Oh he wants it so bad. I realised something the other day. Full Story

Sail off on your weekend

March 27, 2009 15:21:05 Posted at March 27, 2009 15:21:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Truly. He’s amazing... Can we take a moment to appreciate John Mayer? He needs to be appreciated. He deserves a double post today. For sailing off on the weekend in style. This kind of style. It’s John Mayer on the Mayercraft today. His ensemble...it speaks for itself. And his legs...his legs are as toned as Jennifer Aniston’s. Full Story

He will never let us down

March 17, 2009 13:24:08 Posted at March 17, 2009 13:24:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer keep quiet about the end of his contractual obligations his bust up with Jennifer Aniston? Please. He would never be so cruel. He could never be so self controlled. Remember, his gift is his song. His gift is the word. Because he’s so great with the word, right? Who keeps telling him he’s so great with the word??? Putting experience into music is one thing. Full Story

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GOOPy or Douchey?

March 16, 2009 12:26:00 Posted at March 16, 2009 12:26:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tough call for you, isn't it? One's an elitist condescending, allegedly undeserving bitch, the other a wastebag ingrate making a mockery of music and his entire career... How to choose? GOOPy or Douchey? Well it's obvious for me. GOOPs of course. You know I love my GOOPs. And you know she hates Joaquin Phoenix. Full Story

Why so pained?

March 16, 2009 09:34:08 Posted at March 16, 2009 09:34:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And has Robert Pattinson created an open-mouth epidemic? Almost every photo of Ginnifer Goodwin last night at the Metropolitan Opera gala features her with a slack jaw looking miserable. The few shots of her smiling looks like she’s being tortured…and it’s too bad, really, because she’s was dressed up so beautifully. Full Story

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Joaquin scuffle

March 12, 2009 06:45:24 Posted at March 12, 2009 06:45:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

That loser was in Miami last night “performing”. Was heckled from the crowd and deservedly so which prompted Joaquin to jump the dude. Melee ensued, Phoenix is hauled away, Casey Affleck naturally shot the whole thing, and they probably laughed about it at the hotel afterwards the entire night. Full Story

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If he was your dad…

March 9, 2009 17:14:25 Posted at March 9, 2009 17:14:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Even just for a dayWould you roll out of bed in the morningOr spend most of your life hiding away? This is Billy Ray Cyrus yesterday in Hollywood at the John Varvatos benefit. There is no reason for that hair. No reason for that … thing… on his chin. It’s not an age thing. It’s a douche thing. Full Story