Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Obsessed with her looks? Her???

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 1, 2009 08:56:38 April 1, 2009 08:56:38

No sh-t. And if John Mayer’s calling you out on your narcissism, what does that say about you? Yes you Jennifer Aniston. You. New issue of Us Weekly reveals that one of the reasons why they broke is because John could no longer handle how “obsessive-compulsive” Jen is about her looks. Full Story

Punching is not allowed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 31, 2009 11:51:14 March 31, 2009 11:51:14

We discussed this yesterday … Violence is never the answer. F-ck! Why not?!?!? Find me someone who doesn’t have the same reaction after seeing these photos. Full Story

Weekend, Week Begin

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 30, 2009 08:03:45 March 30, 2009 08:03:45

John Mayer sent us into the weekend with the sailor shorts and, bless him, he’s now pulling us back out of it by smelling his lime green mankini while performing on his cheesy boat cruise. Are you a comic or a musician? He wants to answer both. Oh he wants it so bad. I realised something the other day. Full Story

Sail off on your weekend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 27, 2009 15:21:05 March 27, 2009 15:21:05

Truly. He’s amazing... Can we take a moment to appreciate John Mayer? He needs to be appreciated. He deserves a double post today. For sailing off on the weekend in style. This kind of style. It’s John Mayer on the Mayercraft today. His ensemble...it speaks for itself. And his legs...his legs are as toned as Jennifer Aniston’s. Full Story

He will never let us down

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2009 13:24:08 March 17, 2009 13:24:08

John Mayer keep quiet about the end of his contractual obligations his bust up with Jennifer Aniston? Please. He would never be so cruel. He could never be so self controlled. Remember, his gift is his song. His gift is the word. Because he’s so great with the word, right? Who keeps telling him he’s so great with the word??? Putting experience into music is one thing. Full Story

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GOOPy or Douchey?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 16, 2009 12:26:00 March 16, 2009 12:26:00

Tough call for you, isn't it? One's an elitist condescending, allegedly undeserving bitch, the other a wastebag ingrate making a mockery of music and his entire career... How to choose? GOOPy or Douchey? Well it's obvious for me. GOOPs of course. You know I love my GOOPs. And you know she hates Joaquin Phoenix. Full Story

Why so pained?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 16, 2009 09:34:08 March 16, 2009 09:34:08

And has Robert Pattinson created an open-mouth epidemic? Almost every photo of Ginnifer Goodwin last night at the Metropolitan Opera gala features her with a slack jaw looking miserable. The few shots of her smiling looks like she’s being tortured…and it’s too bad, really, because she’s was dressed up so beautifully. Full Story

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Joaquin scuffle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 12, 2009 06:45:24 March 12, 2009 06:45:24

That loser was in Miami last night “performing”. Was heckled from the crowd and deservedly so which prompted Joaquin to jump the dude. Melee ensued, Phoenix is hauled away, Casey Affleck naturally shot the whole thing, and they probably laughed about it at the hotel afterwards the entire night. Full Story

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If he was your dad…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 9, 2009 17:14:25 March 9, 2009 17:14:25

Even just for a dayWould you roll out of bed in the morningOr spend most of your life hiding away? This is Billy Ray Cyrus yesterday in Hollywood at the John Varvatos benefit. There is no reason for that hair. No reason for that … thing… on his chin. It’s not an age thing. It’s a douche thing. Full Story

Van Morrison > Justin Timberlake

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 3, 2009 06:41:00 March 3, 2009 06:41:00

Obviously. Jimmy Fallon Late Night premiere – did you watch? Can’t blame him for being totally cranked the entire time. It was the first show after all. Hopefully he’ll dial it back, chill out going forward. I buzzed for a full hour afterwards. There were ups, there were downs. The De Niro interview I enjoyed. Full Story

Life is Breezy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 2, 2009 06:25:00 March 2, 2009 06:25:00

As you’ve heard, Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together, staying at Diddy’s mansion in Miami. I have not written about Rihanna because it’s sad smut. Still sad smut. What happened to her is heartbreaking. Her choices are heartbreaking. And while I may not agree with them, at all, at the same time, in my opinion, she doesn’t deserve the scorn. Full Story