Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Alba B*tch is a bully

January 21, 2009 07:04:41 Posted at January 21, 2009 07:04:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As you know, Jessica Alba is all, like, socially involved now, claiming to have actively campaigned among Latino voters for the Obama campaign, even though not even two years ago, she did not want to be called Latina. These days though, Alba has a new image to sell. She’s a mother, she an “actor”, she doesn’t want to be known as a “body”, not unless you pay her to star in your ad campaign for Campari. Full Story

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Pippy swaggers!

January 20, 2009 09:58:28 Posted at January 20, 2009 09:58:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So you know the Mighty Opes has been taping her show this weekend from Washington in honour of President Barack Obama’s Inauguration. Some high profile celebrities have come to visit and more are expected. Those who weren’t able to drop in sent video messages. Like Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake. Full Story

Hugh don’t know Junior

January 19, 2009 10:03:26 Posted at January 19, 2009 10:03:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My favourite, favourite story of the day. So Hugh Jackman and the rest of the Wolverine hotnesses are in Vancouver shooting final scenes. Hugh happens to be working out at the same fitness centre as Kevin Federline Junior who is tagging along with his wife and paycheque Tori Spelling while she films Smallville. Full Story

The Year of Living Rap

January 19, 2009 06:02:10 Posted at January 19, 2009 06:02:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ugh. What happened to Joaquin Phoenix? As you know, he said BYE GOOD to acting and instead has chosen to document his attempt to become a rap artist – yes, a rap artist – with bestie Casey Affleck. Apparently hip-hop is his life’s love, and he is now dedicated to pursuing the perfect rhyme. Full Story

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Piven on the defence

January 19, 2009 05:54:23 Posted at January 19, 2009 05:54:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As you know, Jeremy Piven dropped out of the Broadway production of Speed-the-Plow just before Christmas citing mercury poisoning for not being able to fulfill his contractual obligation. Now the producers of the production have filed a grievance against him  Full Story

Sasha Fierce hates dogs?

January 15, 2009 09:55:26 Posted at January 15, 2009 09:55:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Thank you for your emails about Marcus. He gave us a scare and what topped it off for us was that he was not interested in food. It was a sign of the apocalypse. This is what happens when you eat sh-t. Relief though - he’s turned a corner after getting a shot in the ass. And we knew it was all good when he barked in the FedEx man’s face yesterday because the lovely fellow understandably did not want to touch his stanky toy goose for an impromptu game of chase. Full Story

Is this a man?

January 14, 2009 07:30:39 Posted at January 14, 2009 07:30:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Debatable. His name is Brian Austin Green. You know him better as David Silver. He spent most of the 90s making out with Tori Spelling…remember him? Oh yeah…him. Brian Austin Green is engaged to Megan Fox, a man in his 30s desperately hanging on to his young break out girl who is trying to cope with outgrowing him. Full Story

Globes Best White: Kate Beckinsale

January 12, 2009 08:01:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 08:01:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Two for two… well done. Let’s give it to her because she wanted it so badly. The pinched expression on her face gives it away. Shades of her best friend Posh. Please, please, please tell me I’m stylish! I slaved all day to be stylish! And the poor thing…she had to present with that megalomaniacal buffoon P Diddy dick ass who practically pushed her off the stage when he was speaking. Full Story

NYE Waste of Money

January 1, 2009 11:34:52 Posted at January 1, 2009 11:34:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Denise Richards and Lance Bass co-hosted a party at Prive Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Like, who would hire Denise Richards? And… who would actually GO to an event hosted by Denise Richards??? I would rather grab takeout at McDonalds – quarter with cheese, supersized fries, AND a filet fish to wash it all down – in my jammies, with greasy hair and a face full of pimples, and wine dispensed from a spout on a box than waste a good dress and an even better pair of shoes ringing in the new year with Denise Richards. Full Story

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Best of `08: Douchebag`s break-up press conference

December 31, 2008 10:33:26 Posted at December 31, 2008 10:33:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

August 16, 2008. We were one week into the Olympics, obsessed with Michael Phelps, and John Mayer shamewhore famewhore got jealous and decided to hold an impromptu press conference FOR THE PAPARAZZI telling the world, on camera, why HE BROKE UP with Jennifer Aniston. Over and again he said he BROKE UP with Jennifer Aniston. Full Story

Worst of 2008: Princess AssTalk’s asstalking

December 22, 2008 19:21:35 Posted at December 22, 2008 19:21:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey

“I am truly grateful for the honor that the Academy bestowed upon me last year. I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the Academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials. Full Story

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