Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Worst of 2008: Princess AssTalk’s asstalking

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 22, 2008 19:21:35 December 22, 2008 19:21:35

“I am truly grateful for the honor that the Academy bestowed upon me last year. I did not feel that I was given the material this season to warrant an Emmy nomination and in an effort to maintain the integrity of the Academy organization, I withdrew my name from contention. In addition, I did not want to potentially take away an opportunity from an actress who was given such materials. Full Story

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Mickey the leader

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 17, 2008 07:32:39 December 17, 2008 07:32:39

Last night The Wrestler premiered in LA and we’ve been talking since TIFF about the Oscar buzz, about his performance, and right now, Mickey Rourke appears to be the leader. Based on performance, absolutely they say he deserves it. He is outstanding. But as you know, as illustrated by the fact that a lesser movie called Crash managed to outvote Brokeback Mountain, it’s all about the voters. Full Story

Hair, Legs, Douchebags, and Dogs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 12, 2008 06:36:00 December 12, 2008 06:36:00

This is how she’s selling her movie. It’s Jennifer Aniston looking amazing last night at the LA premiere of Marley & Me in perhaps one of the shortest dresses she’s ever worn, showing off those legs, that crazy body, hair blown out to perfection, arms wrapped reassuringly around a fragile Owen Wilson, not posing with her douchey boyfriend John Mayer, but summoning him there anyway to make sure you know he’s her douchey boyfriend. Full Story

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He thinks thoughts and blogs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 11, 2008 12:02:00 December 11, 2008 12:02:00

While his girlfriend Jennifer Aniston is electrifying the blogosphere today, empowering women by getting naked and spreading her legs (more photos from the magazine are attached and seriously her breasts are hurting me), John Mayer has taken to the Huffington Post Full Story

More profundity from a douchebag groupie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 9, 2008 14:36:11 December 9, 2008 14:36:11

The UK Daily Mirror is claiming an exclusive with Jennifer Aniston. Take with a grain of salt but let’s run with it for now… Because the profundity of her profoundness is just too good to ignore. Apparently she talks about John Mayer. No. Actually… She gushes about John Mayer. "He's a rare one. Full Story

Upgrading is good

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 8, 2008 19:54:34 December 8, 2008 19:54:34

Emily Blunt is free from that cheese dick Michael Buble. He told People that he’d always love her and that he’s happy she’s found a new man. As you know, she’s apparently now dating John Krasinski. Full Story

Pippy doesn’t walk?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2008 16:15:12 December 3, 2008 16:15:12

My husband and I, we are golf purists. And he’s too cheap to pay for a cart. But mostly we walk the course because that’s what golf is. You hit and hit and hit, and you walk, with your bag on your back, and you’re tired, and you don’t turn your hips because you’re tired, because you’ve been walking for hours, and the shots start to suffer, and if you come in with a good score having overcome all those elements, truly you can play the game. Full Story

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Douche to DILF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2008 06:45:15 December 3, 2008 06:45:15

Ew! Not me. But I’m not a member of the MiniVan Majority. And the MiniVan Majority has embraced Kevin Federline. Otherwise People would not have slapped him on the cover with the booboos during the holiday fanfare. Of course the exclusive doesn’t hurt either. Wonder how much he was paid… No matter. Full Story

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Ebola’s Perfect Mate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2008 06:32:00 December 3, 2008 06:32:00

Sean Avery is getting exactly what he wants. His parents must be so proud. Quick background for those who missed it yesterday: Sean Avery is the douchebag forward currently playing for the Dallas Stars, acquired in the off season from the New York Rangers. The most hated piece of sh-t in the NHL, Avery is no stranger to controversy, having made racist remarks in the past about blacks and French Canadians, and last year ridiculing a fellow player suffering from cancer. Full Story

Knowing Pip…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 2, 2008 07:08:57 December 2, 2008 07:08:57

He’ll probably take credit for this too. Samuel L Jackson was honoured last night at the 23rd Annual American Cinematheque Awards in Beverly Hills. Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake was in attendance, smirk firmly in place, having probably convinced himself that Sam was only being recognised because they worked together on Black Snake Moan. Full Story

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MC Bye Good

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 1, 2008 09:30:00 December 1, 2008 09:30:00

Remember last week when it was reported that Joaquin Phoenix jumped the stage at some club and threw down a few rhymes? Thank the good Shiloh someone had the presence of mind to video it. Here he is, MC Bye Good, sucking the largest ass donkey sh-t of all time. How does someone become such a loser? How did Joaquin Phoenix, formerly the #1 spot on the Freebie Five, how did he become P Diddy? Apparently Casey Affleck is shooting all of this for his doc. Full Story