Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Knowing Pip…

December 2, 2008 07:08:57 Posted at December 2, 2008 07:08:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He’ll probably take credit for this too. Samuel L Jackson was honoured last night at the 23rd Annual American Cinematheque Awards in Beverly Hills. Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake was in attendance, smirk firmly in place, having probably convinced himself that Sam was only being recognised because they worked together on Black Snake Moan. Full Story

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MC Bye Good

December 1, 2008 09:30:00 Posted at December 1, 2008 09:30:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember last week when it was reported that Joaquin Phoenix jumped the stage at some club and threw down a few rhymes? Thank the good Shiloh someone had the presence of mind to video it. Here he is, MC Bye Good, sucking the largest ass donkey sh-t of all time. How does someone become such a loser? How did Joaquin Phoenix, formerly the #1 spot on the Freebie Five, how did he become P Diddy? Apparently Casey Affleck is shooting all of this for his doc. Full Story

Douchebag entertains

November 28, 2008 08:24:00 Posted at November 28, 2008 08:24:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Now that his gag order has been temporarily lifted, in New York this week without Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer is back to doing what he does best: feeding his attention addiction, talking out of his ass. I’ll say this: he is entertaining. Douche was surrounded by paps and fans yesterday, signing photos, taking photos, even some cute bantering with a little old lady who didn’t have a clue about him but pleaded for an autograph anyway. Full Story

Suck makes a movie

November 27, 2008 07:38:00 Posted at November 27, 2008 07:38:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If you only do one thing today, make it this. I wrote yesterday about Diddy’s ridiculous new ad for his ridiculous new men’s fragrance I Am Fail. Turns out he directed a movie that accompanies the poster as part of the campaign which is so appalling and yet so amazing it’s like Airplane: every time you watch it, there’s something else to laugh at. Full Story

You Are Douche

November 26, 2008 10:15:43 Posted at November 26, 2008 10:15:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is Diddy in a new ad for his new fragrance I Am King that will be plastered in Times Square. I Am King? No! You Are Douche. You Are SUCK. Oh, and it gets worse. Much worse. When describing the ad, Diddy offered these enlightening words: "When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend. Full Story

He raps?

November 26, 2008 07:48:27 Posted at November 26, 2008 07:48:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So Joaquin Phoenix said he was retiring from acting to focus on music. We all made the assumption that he would slowly fade away based on his reclusive personality and his handwriting a few weeks ago: BYE GOOD. Happily this does not seem to be the case. Even the ones who shun the spotlight can’t help their addiction to the spotlight…see? How else can you explain this? Turns out Joaquin is shooting a doc with close friend Casey Affleck chronicling his journey from actor to musician. Full Story

Legs at Letterman but no Vince

November 25, 2008 18:09:47 Posted at November 25, 2008 18:09:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Reese Witherspoon outside Letterman studios today for an appearance with David to promote Four Christmases in theatres tomorrow. She’s been working hard on the promotional trail, on the carpet, morning chats, magazine covers, and shouldering the responsibility for the movie, the sole face of the film thus far, even though she’s supposed to have a co-star. Full Story

Dear Michael Cera

November 21, 2008 14:10:14 Posted at November 21, 2008 14:10:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please… please don’t suck. Like, you’re so amazing now because you make movies. And that is SO great. But there’s always the beginning. And the beginning was the best. The beginning was the Bluth. And the Bluths were killed too soon. But now they have new life. And you are apparently the only hold out. Full Story

Low classy Beat-Me Mouth

November 19, 2008 13:14:51 Posted at November 19, 2008 13:14:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

JailBait Miley Cyrus appeared on Ellen this week to promote Bolt and made everyone hate her even more. See clip below. I know. You want to slap her in the beat-me mouth, don’t you? That voice, that cackle – how many cigarettes do you have to mainline to achieve that cackle? And the low classy chair fidgeting. Full Story

The Crown Prince of AssTalk

November 17, 2008 12:10:49 Posted at November 17, 2008 12:10:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Katherine Heigl is the Princess. And who is her Prince? Prince. Or the artist formerly known as… or whatever we’re supposed to be calling himself these days. Up until 2 hours ago, I adored him. Would have gone to bed with him. And then, this new interview Full Story

One giant dealbreaker

November 17, 2008 10:55:00 Posted at November 17, 2008 10:55:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I react to Mario Lopez the same way I react to roadkill or Pete Doherty: Ew. Remember when People Magazine named him the Hottest Bachelor? Ew!!!!!!!!! I don’t get it. To me Mario Lopez is head to toe one giant dealbreaker. Full Story