Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Pippy doesn’t walk?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2008 16:15:12 December 3, 2008 16:15:12

My husband and I, we are golf purists. And he’s too cheap to pay for a cart. But mostly we walk the course because that’s what golf is. You hit and hit and hit, and you walk, with your bag on your back, and you’re tired, and you don’t turn your hips because you’re tired, because you’ve been walking for hours, and the shots start to suffer, and if you come in with a good score having overcome all those elements, truly you can play the game. Full Story

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Douche to DILF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2008 06:45:15 December 3, 2008 06:45:15

Ew! Not me. But I’m not a member of the MiniVan Majority. And the MiniVan Majority has embraced Kevin Federline. Otherwise People would not have slapped him on the cover with the booboos during the holiday fanfare. Of course the exclusive doesn’t hurt either. Wonder how much he was paid… No matter. Full Story

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Ebola’s Perfect Mate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 3, 2008 06:32:00 December 3, 2008 06:32:00

Sean Avery is getting exactly what he wants. His parents must be so proud. Quick background for those who missed it yesterday: Sean Avery is the douchebag forward currently playing for the Dallas Stars, acquired in the off season from the New York Rangers. The most hated piece of sh-t in the NHL, Avery is no stranger to controversy, having made racist remarks in the past about blacks and French Canadians, and last year ridiculing a fellow player suffering from cancer. Full Story

Knowing Pip…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 2, 2008 07:08:57 December 2, 2008 07:08:57

He’ll probably take credit for this too. Samuel L Jackson was honoured last night at the 23rd Annual American Cinematheque Awards in Beverly Hills. Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake was in attendance, smirk firmly in place, having probably convinced himself that Sam was only being recognised because they worked together on Black Snake Moan. Full Story

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MC Bye Good

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 1, 2008 09:30:00 December 1, 2008 09:30:00

Remember last week when it was reported that Joaquin Phoenix jumped the stage at some club and threw down a few rhymes? Thank the good Shiloh someone had the presence of mind to video it. Here he is, MC Bye Good, sucking the largest ass donkey sh-t of all time. How does someone become such a loser? How did Joaquin Phoenix, formerly the #1 spot on the Freebie Five, how did he become P Diddy? Apparently Casey Affleck is shooting all of this for his doc. Full Story

Douchebag entertains

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 28, 2008 08:24:00 November 28, 2008 08:24:00

Now that his gag order has been temporarily lifted, in New York this week without Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer is back to doing what he does best: feeding his attention addiction, talking out of his ass. I’ll say this: he is entertaining. Douche was surrounded by paps and fans yesterday, signing photos, taking photos, even some cute bantering with a little old lady who didn’t have a clue about him but pleaded for an autograph anyway. Full Story

Suck makes a movie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 27, 2008 07:38:00 November 27, 2008 07:38:00

If you only do one thing today, make it this. I wrote yesterday about Diddy’s ridiculous new ad for his ridiculous new men’s fragrance I Am Fail. Turns out he directed a movie that accompanies the poster as part of the campaign which is so appalling and yet so amazing it’s like Airplane: every time you watch it, there’s something else to laugh at. Full Story

You Are Douche

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 26, 2008 10:15:43 November 26, 2008 10:15:43

This is Diddy in a new ad for his new fragrance I Am King that will be plastered in Times Square. I Am King? No! You Are Douche. You Are SUCK. Oh, and it gets worse. Much worse. When describing the ad, Diddy offered these enlightening words: "When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend. Full Story

He raps?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 26, 2008 07:48:27 November 26, 2008 07:48:27

So Joaquin Phoenix said he was retiring from acting to focus on music. We all made the assumption that he would slowly fade away based on his reclusive personality and his handwriting a few weeks ago: BYE GOOD. Happily this does not seem to be the case. Even the ones who shun the spotlight can’t help their addiction to the spotlight…see? How else can you explain this? Turns out Joaquin is shooting a doc with close friend Casey Affleck chronicling his journey from actor to musician. Full Story

Legs at Letterman but no Vince

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 25, 2008 18:09:47 November 25, 2008 18:09:47

Reese Witherspoon outside Letterman studios today for an appearance with David to promote Four Christmases in theatres tomorrow. She’s been working hard on the promotional trail, on the carpet, morning chats, magazine covers, and shouldering the responsibility for the movie, the sole face of the film thus far, even though she’s supposed to have a co-star. Full Story

Dear Michael Cera

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 21, 2008 14:10:14 November 21, 2008 14:10:14

Please… please don’t suck. Like, you’re so amazing now because you make movies. And that is SO great. But there’s always the beginning. And the beginning was the best. The beginning was the Bluth. And the Bluths were killed too soon. But now they have new life. And you are apparently the only hold out. Full Story