Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Low classy Beat-Me Mouth

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 19, 2008 13:14:51 November 19, 2008 13:14:51

JailBait Miley Cyrus appeared on Ellen this week to promote Bolt and made everyone hate her even more. See clip below. I know. You want to slap her in the beat-me mouth, don’t you? That voice, that cackle – how many cigarettes do you have to mainline to achieve that cackle? And the low classy chair fidgeting. Full Story

The Crown Prince of AssTalk

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2008 12:10:49 November 17, 2008 12:10:49

Katherine Heigl is the Princess. And who is her Prince? Prince. Or the artist formerly known as… or whatever we’re supposed to be calling himself these days. Up until 2 hours ago, I adored him. Would have gone to bed with him. And then, this new interview Full Story

One giant dealbreaker

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2008 10:55:00 November 17, 2008 10:55:00

I react to Mario Lopez the same way I react to roadkill or Pete Doherty: Ew. Remember when People Magazine named him the Hottest Bachelor? Ew!!!!!!!!! I don’t get it. To me Mario Lopez is head to toe one giant dealbreaker. Full Story

Two douches on a carpet

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2008 08:19:41 November 14, 2008 08:19:41

Last night, one carpet, two douchebags: Justin Timberlake and John Mayer at the Keep A Child Alive 5th Annual Black Ball in New York. Am surprised Shelfy didn’t beg and plead to tag along. Maybe Pip didn’t want her embarrassing him in front of Alicia Keys and Queen Latifah. Wonder what that punk smug smile on his face is all about. Full Story

TV Girl's triumphant return

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 14, 2008 06:46:02 November 14, 2008 06:46:02

It was a week that started low, continued to build, and ended on several high notes. Well done, Huvane. He turned his sh-t around, well done indeed. Because gone is the memory of Jennifer Aniston degrading herself at The Ivy, replaced by Jennifer Aniston’s tight ass body on 30 Rock, clad in skin-baring outfits in every scene, returning to Must See TV, and finally coming home, proving that her place, always and forever, will not be at the movies comfortable ensconced on the couch on the small screen. Full Story

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Pippy’s so man!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 11, 2008 13:05:29 November 11, 2008 13:05:29

Pip’s balls may not have dropped all the way, but he swaggers like he’s a real man, all badass and ready to rumble with his security close behind him prepped to jump in as he confronts a pap for shooting him while he’s eating. Video is below. Do you remember Pipper on Punkd? When he practically wet his pants? Just as bonus, I’m throwing that in too. Full Story

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Bad Birthday Karma

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 10, 2008 10:28:54 November 10, 2008 10:28:54

What could possibly be so sh-t about the lives of the stars that they routinely resort to verbally and emotionally abusing the small people? Puffy/Diddy/ F-cktwat threw a birthday party the other night and hired a designer. The designer was given some money and a few hours and instructed to decorate just so but all white (which is so over) with roses and mirrors and other standard lounge embellishments. Full Story

Dumped for Denise

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2008 13:57:06 November 3, 2008 13:57:06

About a month ago I posted this article noting that Lindsay Lohan was starting to resemble Denise Richards. Now she’s getting dumped for Denise Richards. By the World Music Awards. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Full Story

Jenny + Douchey = Stupid

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 3, 2008 06:40:00 November 3, 2008 06:40:00

Pink speaks the truth. She doesn’t think highly of John Mayer. Shocking. Recalling an encounter with him recently, Pink said: "I got into an argument with him. He said something along the lines of, 'I only shag really stupid women', and I said, 'I guess they would have to be. I don't get him and Jennifer at all. Full Story

Today’s AssTalk from Douchebag

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 29, 2008 13:09:08 October 29, 2008 13:09:08

He’s been silent for so long I almost missed him. Then he started writing again and I’m sorry I ever said that. John Mayer, who else? John Mayer Douchebag has written for the Huffington Post Full Story