Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

What it’s like to meet Johnny

October 17, 2008 12:40:06 Posted at October 17, 2008 12:40:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I’ve been fortunate enough during my time with eTalk to have the opportunity to interview and observe celebrities, to exchange war stories with journalists, to have a glimpse at what it’s like behind the People Magazine bullsh-t…and as you’ve probably gleaned from this column, assy celebrity behaviour is not the exception but almost the rule, and more often than not, it’s not shocking when they’re dicky, but it is when they’re nice. Full Story

Her friends suck too?

October 17, 2008 08:36:20 Posted at October 17, 2008 08:36:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s already been well established: Jessica Simpson has no friends. The ones she does have suck ass. Same goes for Jennifer Aniston? OK! is reporting exclusively that there was a sleepover last night at John Mayer’s. Full Story

Douchey’s birthday boost

October 16, 2008 13:34:49 Posted at October 16, 2008 13:34:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer turned 31 today and thanks to Jennifer Aniston, his balls are a little bigger this year. Happy Birthday! This is John yesterday at the Beverly Hills Hotel in the afternoon before his evening celebration at the Grand Havana Room where he was joined by his girlfriend-again. As you know, John and Jen are back together, reuniting some time last week in New York and Boston, travelling back to LA at the weekend, and seeing each other every night since. Full Story

Taking out Tallulah Belle

October 15, 2008 07:05:38 Posted at October 15, 2008 07:05:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Demi and Ashton took brought their youngest with them last night onto the carpet at the Glamour Reel Moments event and Tallulah Belle showed off her Louboutins. TB is 14. Bet your Botox she has more pairs than you do. Credit to the Willis/Kutchers though, at least Tallulah still looks like a teen. She has that awkward gangly vibe about her and the expression on her face – trying so hard to be older but only succeeding in looking younger – TB’s attempt at “sexy” actually brings out her remaining innocence, unlike that old hag Ali Lohan with “experience” written all over her 35 year old face. Full Story

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Desperate goes back for more

October 14, 2008 07:08:51 Posted at October 14, 2008 07:08:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dear Jennifer Aniston: Are you Jessica Simpson??? I know the source is suspect but they claim to have eyewitnesses and were able to nail down the logistics pretty tight… so far, it seems legit. And considering we’re discussing Jennifer Aniston, something this desperate and pathetic is entirely possible. Full Story

Pip & Shelfy pick and choose

October 13, 2008 07:04:38 Posted at October 13, 2008 07:04:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel showed up at a rally the other day in support of Barack Obama and to promote the youth vote. It’s a good thing, right? Sure. But here’s the question: For a couple so hellbent on “privacy”, a couple that “claims” not to put their relationship on a platter for public consumption, can they pick and choose when we get to see their love and when we get to f&ck right off? Note how they acted with each other that day – on stage, with his “fans” screaming and excited, with the media parked front and centre watching their every move, note how suddenly privacy wasn’t an issue: Pipsqueak: "I'm not here as some dude who writes goofy songs. Full Story

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Compulsive Narcissist

October 10, 2008 10:42:18 Posted at October 10, 2008 10:42:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He can’t help himself, you know? He can’t help bringing things back to his favourite subject. John Mayer’s favourite subject is John Mayer. Thanks to M at Berklee College for sending this in: Hi Lainey!!I'm in my last year at Berklee College of Music in Boston where John Mayer briefly attended. Full Story

Shannen Doherty, John Mayer, Pee

October 2, 2008 13:20:45 Posted at October 2, 2008 13:20:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Look…I get it that dudes get off on images involving suggestive liquids. Like a mudfight. Or a jello bath. Or milk running down the side of a woman’s mouth. Madonna’s Express Yourself video. I get it. What I don’t get is the rationale from the boys at Details for this Shannen Doherty photo shoot. Full Story

Shelfy’s Best Work

September 29, 2008 12:05:00 Posted at September 29, 2008 12:05:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Biel… she’s like the Tiger Woods of famewhorage, you know? Shelfy keeps outdoing herself. Predicable yes, but nonetheless, the sheer shamelessness of her constant campaigns is impressive. And the latest is the best yet. Because it covers so many angles. 1. You’ll recall, a couple of weeks ago, her Easy Virtue director was quoted calling her an idiot Full Story

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An Ingrate killed Doug Ross

September 23, 2008 12:50:00 Posted at September 23, 2008 12:50:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Who would George Clooney be without Doug Ross? ER MADE George Clooney. And ER is concluding this year after 15 seasons, bringing back almost every familiar face to commemorate the occasion…save one. George Clooney has officially confirmed that he has no interest in reprising the role that launched his superstardom. Full Story

Major League Upgrade

September 22, 2008 15:23:00 Posted at September 22, 2008 15:23:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Minka Kelly once dated Taylor Kitsch – first season of Friday Night Lights. It’s hard to follow up on Taylor Kitsch. And her subsequent romance with John Mayer failed in that regard. Happily their hook up was shortlived. And like Jessica Simpson before her, Minka too has found herself a athletic upgrade even MORE impressive than Porny’s. Full Story