Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Douchey’s birthday boost

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 16, 2008 13:34:49 October 16, 2008 13:34:49

John Mayer turned 31 today and thanks to Jennifer Aniston, his balls are a little bigger this year. Happy Birthday! This is John yesterday at the Beverly Hills Hotel in the afternoon before his evening celebration at the Grand Havana Room where he was joined by his girlfriend-again. As you know, John and Jen are back together, reuniting some time last week in New York and Boston, travelling back to LA at the weekend, and seeing each other every night since. Full Story

Taking out Tallulah Belle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 15, 2008 07:05:38 October 15, 2008 07:05:38

Demi and Ashton took brought their youngest with them last night onto the carpet at the Glamour Reel Moments event and Tallulah Belle showed off her Louboutins. TB is 14. Bet your Botox she has more pairs than you do. Credit to the Willis/Kutchers though, at least Tallulah still looks like a teen. She has that awkward gangly vibe about her and the expression on her face – trying so hard to be older but only succeeding in looking younger – TB’s attempt at “sexy” actually brings out her remaining innocence, unlike that old hag Ali Lohan with “experience” written all over her 35 year old face. Full Story

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Desperate goes back for more

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 14, 2008 07:08:51 October 14, 2008 07:08:51

Dear Jennifer Aniston: Are you Jessica Simpson??? I know the source is suspect but they claim to have eyewitnesses and were able to nail down the logistics pretty tight… so far, it seems legit. And considering we’re discussing Jennifer Aniston, something this desperate and pathetic is entirely possible. Full Story

Pip & Shelfy pick and choose

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 13, 2008 07:04:38 October 13, 2008 07:04:38

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel showed up at a rally the other day in support of Barack Obama and to promote the youth vote. It’s a good thing, right? Sure. But here’s the question: For a couple so hellbent on “privacy”, a couple that “claims” not to put their relationship on a platter for public consumption, can they pick and choose when we get to see their love and when we get to f&ck right off? Note how they acted with each other that day – on stage, with his “fans” screaming and excited, with the media parked front and centre watching their every move, note how suddenly privacy wasn’t an issue: Pipsqueak: "I'm not here as some dude who writes goofy songs. Full Story

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Compulsive Narcissist

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 10, 2008 10:42:18 October 10, 2008 10:42:18

He can’t help himself, you know? He can’t help bringing things back to his favourite subject. John Mayer’s favourite subject is John Mayer. Thanks to M at Berklee College for sending this in: Hi Lainey!!I'm in my last year at Berklee College of Music in Boston where John Mayer briefly attended. Full Story

Shannen Doherty, John Mayer, Pee

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 2, 2008 13:20:45 October 2, 2008 13:20:45

Look…I get it that dudes get off on images involving suggestive liquids. Like a mudfight. Or a jello bath. Or milk running down the side of a woman’s mouth. Madonna’s Express Yourself video. I get it. What I don’t get is the rationale from the boys at Details for this Shannen Doherty photo shoot. Full Story

Shelfy’s Best Work

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 29, 2008 12:05:00 September 29, 2008 12:05:00

Jessica Biel… she’s like the Tiger Woods of famewhorage, you know? Shelfy keeps outdoing herself. Predicable yes, but nonetheless, the sheer shamelessness of her constant campaigns is impressive. And the latest is the best yet. Because it covers so many angles. 1. You’ll recall, a couple of weeks ago, her Easy Virtue director was quoted calling her an idiot Full Story

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An Ingrate killed Doug Ross

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 23, 2008 12:50:00 September 23, 2008 12:50:00

Who would George Clooney be without Doug Ross? ER MADE George Clooney. And ER is concluding this year after 15 seasons, bringing back almost every familiar face to commemorate the occasion…save one. George Clooney has officially confirmed that he has no interest in reprising the role that launched his superstardom. Full Story

Major League Upgrade

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 22, 2008 15:23:00 September 22, 2008 15:23:00

Minka Kelly once dated Taylor Kitsch – first season of Friday Night Lights. It’s hard to follow up on Taylor Kitsch. And her subsequent romance with John Mayer failed in that regard. Happily their hook up was shortlived. And like Jessica Simpson before her, Minka too has found herself a athletic upgrade even MORE impressive than Porny’s. Full Story

Not a star, just a liar?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2008 07:21:12 September 19, 2008 07:21:12

Denise Richards claimed the other day that E! had renewed her reality show for a second season. Unfortunately the network has yet to make that decision. In fact, it sounds like they could be leaning on cutting that sh*t off Full Story

Virus Victims are Worthless

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 2, 2008 07:01:14 September 2, 2008 07:01:14

It’s ok to love Entourage without loving Adrian Grenier. At this point, it’s actually a requirement. Because it’s now totally NOT ok to think of Adrian Grenier as anything but a douchebag. It all started a year ago, of course, when he first became infected with Hollywood Ebola. The effects of the disease are clearly irreversible, incurable. Full Story