Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Ugly Junior kissy face

July 16, 2008 11:42:55 Posted at July 16, 2008 11:42:55
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Try not to Rossum. Tori Spelling and that piece of sh*t she married, Kevin Federline Jr, decided they haven’t been getting enough attention lately, so yesterday, the two ran into some paps to get their picture taken. Just to make sure we know how desperate they are, Junior also leaned in for a kiss. Full Story

Princess AssTalk gets a tumour!

July 16, 2008 11:24:00 Posted at July 16, 2008 11:24:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Katherine Heigl is an ungrateful bitch. And Shonda Rhimes is going to punish her. Do you love it, or do you LOVE it? Following her asstalking remarks a few weeks ago about withdrawing her Emmy nomination because in her estimation the Grey’s Anatomy writers didn’t deserve one, Katie has become Public Enemy #1 at GA. Full Story

Pip eats without his ass

July 9, 2008 16:16:05 Posted at July 9, 2008 16:16:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As my mother would say… Why this happening? Pipsqueakweasel Justin Timberlake eating out without his Shelf Ass Jessica Biel? Impossible! Yet here he is – JT last night photographed outside a restaurant in Beverly Hills and no Shelfy in sight, which only means that we’ll be seeing Shelfy clinging to her Pippy very, very soon, lest you forget he has a girlfriend. Full Story

Groupie Sex

July 9, 2008 08:37:47 Posted at July 9, 2008 08:37:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer played in front of a small crowd yesterday in New York and was asked a question from the audience about whether or not he’d ever had sex with a groupie to which he replied: "Do you respect my honesty? Yes, I have.” And of course, for those of you who’ve been reading this blog for a while, you also know that after a while, after all the nameless, faceless fans he took to bed following a performance, John decided to spice up the experiences by adding in the golden shower. Full Story

Junior’s First Daughter

July 3, 2008 13:58:00 Posted at July 3, 2008 13:58:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just got back from orthopaedics for a progress scan and rehab on my arm. Am not Tiger Woods. Will not be playing golf and winning the US Open 8 weeks after surgery. F*cking Mischa Barton. Anyway, an appointment at ortho is a long drawn out process. Full Story

The Double Save-Face

June 27, 2008 06:47:06 Posted at June 27, 2008 06:47:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pippy Le Pew is currently starring in a box office bomb. Annihilated by critics and passed over by the public, The Love Guru is expected to drop steeply in just its second weekend. Justin Timberlake, although he refuses to take ownership, is still smarting from the failure. His Shelf Ass meanwhile is also suffering a setback. Full Story

Big Brother Pays for Pam

June 26, 2008 08:52:28 Posted at June 26, 2008 08:52:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was announced the other day that Big Brother Australia is bringing in Pamela Anderson for a special appearance on the new season. Since she can’t act, and isn’t good for much else but taking off her clothes, this has become her career. A filthy scab hired to show up randomly just to push her tits together and breathe a few words. Full Story

Of course he is

June 25, 2008 07:35:13 Posted at June 25, 2008 07:35:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Pippy Le Pew Justin Timberlake claims he suffers from OCD. But of course he does. All artists have compulsions, right? And Pip is, above all things, indisputably an artist. "I have OCD mixed with ADD. You try living with that. It"s complicated”, he said. No douchebag… it’s contrived. Full Story

Troy Dyer 2008

June 25, 2008 05:47:32 Posted at June 25, 2008 05:47:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

1995/1996. Reality Bites was my life. Final year of university, no clue what to do, a lifelong obsession with Winona Ryder, I smoked cigarettes incessantly, cut my hair like her shag, wore baggy dresses over tank tops and chucks, never went to class, and videotaped the last 3 months of our lives. As lame as that sounds, my friend Timmy and I, we watched that footage back just last year and had the best laughs ever. Full Story

Jen’s Piece Looks Young and Hot

June 25, 2008 05:43:50 Posted at June 25, 2008 05:43:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

John Mayer yesterday heading out of Amsterdam, presumably en route to England to hook up with Jennifer Aniston. Hate to say but he looks hot with his short fresh haircut. Hot and young. Which of course only works in her favour. As you’ve read from all the stories in the tabloids – John’s impressive skill in the bedroom, how his sex has rejuvenated her – dating a younger man has been yet another rally cry to mobilise Aniston’s MiniVan masses. Full Story

Sean Fashionisto - you are not Tom Ford

June 24, 2008 09:42:00 Posted at June 24, 2008 09:42:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sit DOWN Sean Avery! The most despicable man in hockey spent several weeks interning at Vogue and now reckons he"s Tom Ford. However, the fashionisto f*cker got all dolled up the other day for an REM concert in head to toe black with a matching pageboy cap and had people snickering that he looked like he"d walked off a JLo video circa 1998. Full Story