Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.
1995/1996. Reality Bites was my life. Final year of university, no clue what to do, a lifelong obsession with Winona Ryder, I smoked cigarettes incessantly, cut my hair like her shag, wore baggy dresses over tank tops and chucks, never went to class, and videotaped the last 3 months of our lives. As lame as that sounds, my friend Timmy and I, we watched that footage back just last year and had the best laughs ever. Full Story
John Mayer yesterday heading out of Amsterdam, presumably en route to England to hook up with Jennifer Aniston. Hate to say but he looks hot with his short fresh haircut. Hot and young. Which of course only works in her favour. As you’ve read from all the stories in the tabloids – John’s impressive skill in the bedroom, how his sex has rejuvenated her – dating a younger man has been yet another rally cry to mobilise Aniston’s MiniVan masses. Full Story
Sit DOWN Sean Avery! The most despicable man in hockey spent several weeks interning at Vogue and now reckons he"s Tom Ford. However, the fashionisto f*cker got all dolled up the other day for an REM concert in head to toe black with a matching pageboy cap and had people snickering that he looked like he"d walked off a JLo video circa 1998. Full Story
Pipsqueak popped up in Paris yesterday to do a little shopping. Shelfy was not with him in person but, as usual, she was soon present in spirit, as rumours started circulating in America almost immediately that Justin picked up a bauble or two for her. Jessica Biel’s publicist never ceases to amaze. Full Story
The Princess of AssTalk wants off Grey’s Anatomy which is why she mouthed off a couple of weeks ago about the weakness of the writing, hiding her ulterior motives behind a pathetic attempt at “honour” to fleece the MiniVan Majority. You will note…People Magazine has still not reported on the story. Full Story
There will be no lucky fans invited back to John Mayer’s hotel room to be pee’d on this time. It appears John has found himself a travelling shower-girl. As I was the first to report a couple of weeks ago, Jennifer Aniston is joining John for part of his tour. She flew out of LAX yesterday with great fanfare, arrived in London ahead of her boyfriend, and showed the Brits what a real California tan looks like when she popped out for dinner last night. Full Story
Hate being wrong. But love being wrong when it means Mike Myers sucks ass. And Mike Myers sucked very large ass this weekend at the box office. A fourth place finished. FOURTH!!! Not only was he unable to win, he couldn’t even make it close! The Love Guru is a critical and commercial bomb! Get Smart on the other hand – after a couple of clunkers, including last year’s terrible Evan Almighty, Steve Carell finally came back on top. Full Story
This is it: The Love Guru vs Get Smart, Mike vs Steve, Pippy Timberlake vs Dwayne the Rock Johnson… snort.
The good news is – critics are eviscerating The Love Guru and judging Get Smart more favourably. The bad news is – good taste is dead. Don’t let Get Smart be a flop! Pick Steve Carell! Because at the very least, Steve Carell is a good guy. Steve Carell is not a humourless douchebag diva.
Mike Myers on the other hand…
He stopped by Conan O”Brien the other night and pulled his usual f&ckery: insisting on a specific brand of creamer for his coffee, sending interns out on a whim for Twizzlers and raspberry seltzer and when the seltzer arrived, he fussed that it wasn’t the right brand and sent the poor kid running to correct the egregious error.
It’s a talk show! You’re there for, what, maybe 2 hours? They stock the green room with the loveliest things as it is anyway! He couldn’t wait two f&cking hours to go get that sh*t himself??? Sit DOWN Mike Myers!
Friday! Am posting all day so check back often.
Yours in gossip,
PS. Justine Bateman is not the other woman. The Governator is not hiding mistresses.
PPS. Also – It’s Always Something… Else!
On Tuesday night I’ll be partying at the Drake in Toronto in support of Gilda’s Club. Dan and Jessi from MTV Canada and The Aftershow will be there too hosting one of the sessions, Ron Sexsmith is headlining, and k-os is spinning late late late. For tickets call 416.214.9898 ext 504 and click here for more information. Gilda’s Club provides a wide array of services in a non-medical, home-like setting and always free of charge, dedicated to support and education in a home-like setting for anyone at any stage of cancer, their families and friends.
See you there!
PPPS. Love to Jody Vance! Jody is guest hosting at CityLine www.cityline.ca/ on Monday so if you"re all about girls supporting girls, you must support this girl. Jody was the FIRST female "in the history of Canadian television to host her own sports show in primetime." She did it without having to take off her glasses and push out her tits. Watch Jody on Monday. She will dazzle you. Promise.
PPPPS. Can"t wait for the new season of Project Runway Canada. My favourite, favourite last year! Application deadline for designers on Season 2 is today. Do you measure up? Click here to become the next Tom or Stella.
No really…why? Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen – they should totally be together. Is there a more perfect couple? These assholes deserve each other! It’s a mystery why they split! As you know, they’ve been fighting forever about their kids, over money, terms of the divorce… now a voice message that Charlie left for Denise three years ago that was included in their court documents has somehow leaked to the tabloids. Full Story
If you’ve been visiting this site for a while and familiar with the riddles, this portrait of Mike Myers from Entertainment Weekly shouldn’t surprise you. Perfectionist? Or a pain in the f&cking ass? According to his supporters, his “comic genius” allows him licence to act a douchebag and treat people like sh*t. Problem is, he’s pissed off so many they’re actually pulling for him NOT to succeed.
The Love Guru takes on Get Smart this weekend. It was an unusual move by both studios – rare that two big budget pictures are going head to head on the same weekend. The common practice in recent years has been to move things around to avoid direct confrontation. But neither blinked. Rumour has it that, for Mike at least, it’s become a bit of an ego trip. He wants to take Steve down…
Will Get Smart flop?
Here’s Steve with his wife last night at the premiere in LA and please go see Get Smart. Think of it this way – if The Love Guru is a huge hit, we’ll never hear the end of it from Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake who’ll probably start taking credit for saving the film. Not unlike the way he took credit for saving the Grammys.
Tuesday – am online all day. Remember to refresh. NKOTB article is coming… it’s a long one and was distracted yesterday by the US Open. Miss golf. Hate Mischa Barton!
Yours in gossip,
PS. Michael Douglas does not have another woman. The other woman isn’t Krista Allen.