Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Summer Buzz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:33:15 July 28, 2008 06:33:15

John Mayer played a show last night at the Verizon Amphitheatre showing off a new buzz. You likey? I prefer the longer. But he does look younger. And Jennifer Aniston certainly doesn’t mind that. And she certainly won’t mind reminding you that he’s younger too. The Oprah watching Mini-Van Majority loves 40 year old divorcees dating fresh rocker studs. Full Story

The Child Star Standard

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:06:28 July 28, 2008 06:06:28

Love it. Another child star f&ck up, emboldened by an overinflated sense of entitlement and invulnerability so indigenous to that special species of celebrity pushed into showbiz before they can properly conjugate a verb, took the wheel intoxicated this weekend and tried to kill someone. Call it preachy but whatever… drunk driving is essentially attempted murder. Full Story

Lust Fool

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 22, 2008 07:18:18 July 22, 2008 07:18:18

Sienna Miller is an easy target, and deservedly so. She’s Tori Spelling, only not f&cking ugly. And not the daughter of a Hollywood gazillionaire. Where culpability is concerned however, he’s the one with 4 kids – the youngest only 10 months old. So Sienna’s douchebaggery pales in comparison to Balthazar Getty’s. Full Story

Carb Face and his gray pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 08:17:00 July 21, 2008 08:17:00

There’s a saying in Chinese: One type rice feeds one hundred type people. Sort of like…to each their own. Or, as my mother so gracefully reminded me when I told her one day that I could get away with a short skirt: whores eat our rice too. If you can eat like a whore, you can dress like a whore. Full Story

Barenaked Douchebag

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2008 12:20:00 July 17, 2008 12:20:00

So you know about the arrest  – Steven Page of Barenaked Ladies and some skanks somewhere in New York charged with cocaine possession. F*cking hypocrite. Family values and squeaky clean and a children’s album and in the end a f&cktard. Full Story

Broken Friendships, Broken Homes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2008 07:58:18 July 17, 2008 07:58:18

In the new issue of People Magazine, Sienna Miller’s people insist she’s not a homewrecker because Balthazar Getty and his wife have been “living separate lives” for a while. Still, the experience has been “humiliating” for Rosetta Getty and she’s apparently pissed as sh*t that she “left the country to protect the kids, and he continues to see Sienna publicly”. Full Story

Pippy at the ESPYs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2008 06:36:16 July 17, 2008 06:36:16

Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPYs last night and tried to be funny. Pipsqueak performed an “original rock opera”, paying homage to everyone from Tiger Woods to the Boston Celtics, and belittling Jessica Simpson, which wouldn’t be the first time. A few years ago, Pippy hit up Saturday Night Live and played her for the moron she is. Full Story

Ugly Junior kissy face

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 11:42:55 July 16, 2008 11:42:55

Try not to Rossum. Tori Spelling and that piece of sh*t she married, Kevin Federline Jr, decided they haven’t been getting enough attention lately, so yesterday, the two ran into some paps to get their picture taken. Just to make sure we know how desperate they are, Junior also leaned in for a kiss. Full Story

Princess AssTalk gets a tumour!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 11:24:00 July 16, 2008 11:24:00

Katherine Heigl is an ungrateful bitch. And Shonda Rhimes is going to punish her. Do you love it, or do you LOVE it? Following her asstalking remarks a few weeks ago about withdrawing her Emmy nomination because in her estimation the Grey’s Anatomy writers didn’t deserve one, Katie has become Public Enemy #1 at GA. Full Story

Pip eats without his ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 16:16:05 July 9, 2008 16:16:05

As my mother would say… Why this happening? Pipsqueakweasel Justin Timberlake eating out without his Shelf Ass Jessica Biel? Impossible! Yet here he is – JT last night photographed outside a restaurant in Beverly Hills and no Shelfy in sight, which only means that we’ll be seeing Shelfy clinging to her Pippy very, very soon, lest you forget he has a girlfriend. Full Story