Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Pippy Putts

June 6, 2008 13:55:29 Posted at June 6, 2008 13:55:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It hurts me to post these. It hurts to look at my golf clubs collecting dust in the closet. Just before breaking my arm, I had finally figured out my short game. Was supposed to break 100 this season. Many times. F*cking Mischa Barton Full Story

Carb Face & Abbie Go Public

June 6, 2008 07:40:29 Posted at June 6, 2008 07:40:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last night at the Australian in Film Breakthrough Awards, Ryan Phillippe and Abbie Cornish arrived together – their first time in public as a couple. Apparently they were sweet and loving and he had his arm around her and as you would expect, because this was reported in People, they seemed very much in love. Full Story

Pippy’s Balls Pulled Back

June 5, 2008 11:13:52 Posted at June 5, 2008 11:13:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I reported earlier that Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake’s people were trying to force through a contract obliging journalists covering the Love Guru junket to report only what they approved. Full Story

Sit DOWN Justin Timberlake

June 5, 2008 07:01:04 Posted at June 5, 2008 07:01:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Seriously … sit your Pip ass DOWN! I call it Small Ball Syndrome. Not unlike Napoleon Syndrome. You know how they say short dudes overcompensate for their vertical challenges by going overboard on toughness and aggression? Well since Pipsqueak’s balls have only partially dropped, it’s like he’s trying to make up for his testicular deficit by swinging a big stick around – a stick wielded not by him but by his legal team. Full Story

John Takes Jen on the Road

May 14, 2008 10:40:13 Posted at May 14, 2008 10:40:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

From Miami to Orlando! Jennifer Aniston is taking her sizzling spring fling with John Mayer on the road! John was booked for a private RIM performance in Orlando last night and flew via private jet with Jen and her dog Norman. Norman is so cute. Look at him. Look at his dopey face looking for something to pee on. Full Story

Another Case of Pip Hypocrisy

May 9, 2008 10:35:42 Posted at May 9, 2008 10:35:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Madonna made him hot…but he’s still a f&cking douchebag. Justin Timberlake has signed with MTV to produce a reality tv show called The Phone, kinda like a Bourne Identity meets the Amazing Race which, to be fair, is not the kind of reality show about twats and losers like The Hills etc but still… This is the same little Pipsqueak who stood up on stage last year at the VMAs and snubbed Lauren Conrad who was presenting his award. Full Story

The Difference of a Year

May 6, 2008 08:52:34 Posted at May 6, 2008 08:52:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last year John Mayer accompanied a tranny  to the Costume Institute Gala. She wore a Cavalli that was too small, resulting in back fat and Lara and I lost our sh*t. It was the beginning of the end. Shortly after that, John and Jessica parted ways. Full Story

John on Jen’s Golden Skin!

April 30, 2008 08:34:00 Posted at April 30, 2008 08:34:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The first photos of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer heating up Miami! Looks like In Touch Weekly outbid all the other publications to make it happen. As you can see, Jen and John are lounging by the pool – his head on her shoulder – and totally immersed in their own profundity during what appears to be a lunch date. Full Story

Would You Rather: Rossum vs Criss Angel

April 29, 2008 13:35:00 Posted at April 29, 2008 13:35:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s the ultimate Rossum Would You Rather Challenge! Rossum vs Criss Angel… Right??? See attached of Criss Angel with Wilmer Valderrama at some party in Vegas the other day and Emmy wearing two near identical virgin dresses to the premiere of Speed Racer at the weekend and last night at the LG launch in LA. Full Story

The Prince and the Riffraff

April 28, 2008 00:32:00 Posted at April 28, 2008 00:32:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Prince played Coachella this weekend…how f&cking amazing is that??? The man is pure sex and talent. Love, love, love. Unfortunately his royal presence was contaminated by the arrival of that diseased skank Ebola Paris Hilton who showed up hand in hand with Benji Madden. And because Ebola’s infection has been spread far and wide, awkward avoidance was apparently the name of the game as Jared Leto was at Coachella too and the last time he saw her, he ended up putting his tongue in her mouth and killing his career forever Full Story

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