Douchebags Articles

Annoying and entitled Hollywood celebrity douchebags.

Sit DOWN Justin Timberlake

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 07:01:04 June 5, 2008 07:01:04

Seriously … sit your Pip ass DOWN! I call it Small Ball Syndrome. Not unlike Napoleon Syndrome. You know how they say short dudes overcompensate for their vertical challenges by going overboard on toughness and aggression? Well since Pipsqueak’s balls have only partially dropped, it’s like he’s trying to make up for his testicular deficit by swinging a big stick around – a stick wielded not by him but by his legal team. Full Story

John Takes Jen on the Road

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 14, 2008 10:40:13 May 14, 2008 10:40:13

From Miami to Orlando! Jennifer Aniston is taking her sizzling spring fling with John Mayer on the road! John was booked for a private RIM performance in Orlando last night and flew via private jet with Jen and her dog Norman. Norman is so cute. Look at him. Look at his dopey face looking for something to pee on. Full Story

Another Case of Pip Hypocrisy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 9, 2008 10:35:42 May 9, 2008 10:35:42

Madonna made him hot…but he’s still a f&cking douchebag. Justin Timberlake has signed with MTV to produce a reality tv show called The Phone, kinda like a Bourne Identity meets the Amazing Race which, to be fair, is not the kind of reality show about twats and losers like The Hills etc but still… This is the same little Pipsqueak who stood up on stage last year at the VMAs and snubbed Lauren Conrad who was presenting his award. Full Story

The Difference of a Year

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 6, 2008 08:52:34 May 6, 2008 08:52:34

Last year John Mayer accompanied a tranny  to the Costume Institute Gala. She wore a Cavalli that was too small, resulting in back fat and Lara and I lost our sh*t. It was the beginning of the end. Shortly after that, John and Jessica parted ways. Full Story

John on Jen’s Golden Skin!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 30, 2008 08:34:00 April 30, 2008 08:34:00

The first photos of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer heating up Miami! Looks like In Touch Weekly outbid all the other publications to make it happen. As you can see, Jen and John are lounging by the pool – his head on her shoulder – and totally immersed in their own profundity during what appears to be a lunch date. Full Story

Would You Rather: Rossum vs Criss Angel

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 29, 2008 13:35:00 April 29, 2008 13:35:00

It’s the ultimate Rossum Would You Rather Challenge! Rossum vs Criss Angel… Right??? See attached of Criss Angel with Wilmer Valderrama at some party in Vegas the other day and Emmy wearing two near identical virgin dresses to the premiere of Speed Racer at the weekend and last night at the LG launch in LA. Full Story

The Prince and the Riffraff

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2008 00:32:00 April 28, 2008 00:32:00

Prince played Coachella this weekend…how f&cking amazing is that??? The man is pure sex and talent. Love, love, love. Unfortunately his royal presence was contaminated by the arrival of that diseased skank Ebola Paris Hilton who showed up hand in hand with Benji Madden. And because Ebola’s infection has been spread far and wide, awkward avoidance was apparently the name of the game as Jared Leto was at Coachella too and the last time he saw her, he ended up putting his tongue in her mouth and killing his career forever Full Story

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Vogue Hires a Piece of Sh-t

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 22, 2008 08:04:00 April 22, 2008 08:04:00

What do Anna Wintour and Sean Avery have in common? Besides living in New York? Anna hates fat people. Sean Avery hates fat people. For those of you who aren’t following the NHL playoffs, Sean called Martin Brodeur “fatso” the other day after his Rangers defeated the Devils in the first round. Full Story