Wedding at Downton
If you haven’t yet watched Series 2, you may want to skip this article...
SPOILER ALERT. I’ll give you a minute to click away.
Series 3 will feature a wedding. The Wedding. And also Shirley MacLaine as Cora’s mother. (Sasha once interviewed Shirley MacLaine. It’s the best story ever. In short, she death-stared her the entire time until Sasha turned the conversation to UFOs. Yes, you read that right - UFOs. Shirley MacLaine HATES Sasha like she’s never hated anyone else in the world. And we still don’t know exactly why.) To do battle with the Dowager Countess, Violet, one of the only compliments I can come up with for the sh-t that went on at Downton during Series 2. They could have, after all, turned Dowager Countess into Glee’s Sue Sylvester with the gratuitous comedy. But Maggie Smith elevates the material. In her hands the one-liners are measured and restrained. I wish I could say the same about everything else.
Look, I know most of you have serious hard-ons for Downton Abbey and after Series 1, I was totally feeling you. Series 2 however was a f-cking joke. Which part?
How about the laughably deranged Mrs Bates (when she storms out of Carlisle’s office declaring that “it’s not over yet” like she was directed by Michael Bay) and her subsequent ridiculous death, followed by the absurd murder trial?
Or the disfigured possible heir who comes back from the bottom of the ocean with a Canadian accent??
Or Ethel hiding her child in a village hut???
Or the DEATHBED MARRIAGE BLESSING?????
Or the most egregious plot line - the desecration of Lord Grantham’s character: this is a man who would not fight the law on his estate, not even for her beloved daughter, but somehow finds the moral rot to sexually harass a housemaid? I don’t care if she wanted it just as badly. HE is the one in the position of power. It’s HIS responsibility. And by all accounts, this man is RESPONSIBLE.
Oh my God that sh-t was a mess. So much a mess that it became a comedy. The way The Young & The Restless is a comedy.
When does the Earl’s long lost twin brother show up?
How long before the ghost of Pamuk possesses Thomas who seduces Matthew, thereby uncovering his gay side?
Will Edith meet Hitler and fall in love at Mary’s wedding?
I’m not actually sure any of the above won’t happen.