Drew’s wedding and the dreaded pose

June 6, 2012 15:21:13 Posted at June 6, 2012 15:21:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I don’t know why I’m surprised. At this point, whenever a celebrity sells something, no matter how intimate, why should we be surprised? But still you hope. You hope that there are still a few of them who resist and don’t. That they keep something to themselves. I thought that Drew Barrymore might be one of those. Obviously I’m a dumb twat.

Drew Barrymore’s wedding is the new cover of PEOPLE. She married on Saturday. The magazine has secured the exclusive photos and an interview. As you can see, her husband Will Kopelman is doing the pregnancy gross pose: belly cupping. I hate the belly cupping. I wrote about how much I hate the belly cupping here. I hate so much that Drew allowed herself to be belly cupped on the front page of a weekly and was paid for it.

Like, she’s not poor. And he isn’t poor either. By our standards. But we don’t exist the way they do. Their lifestyle expectations demand million dollar (or more) pregnancy bonuses. Drew’s last movie was sh-t, both critically and commercially. Is she that pragmatic? To have acknowledged that she’ll not be getting much work anymore and is redirecting her revenue streams accordingly?

You know what I find most insulting though? On the weekend, PEOPLE ran with its Drew wedding story online. At this point it was already evident that they’d purchased the photos and were granted an exclusive with the couple. Still, this is the kind of sh-t they were printing:

The intimate ceremony was "a classic, simple, very pretty, garden-inspired wedding," a source tells PEOPLE.

A source???

Why can’t you just say you were there?!?

Because that would cross PEOPLE Magazine’s arbitrary code of journalistic integrity?

Who benefits from this? Is it for the benefit of those who subscribe and pick it up at the mailbox and still haven’t figured it out? There must be a lot of them out there. They must outnumber the rest of us.

When you sell your wedding to a magazine, do you still get to complain about privacy invasion? I say no. I say you sign a document to make it real. I say they develop a contract. If you do this, then you waive your right to this. Sign here. Now you can cash the cheque.

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