Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Lindsay Lohan & Lance’s doctor

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 29, 2013 19:47:35 January 29, 2013 19:47:35
Photos:
WENN

Lindsay Lohan is supposed to be in court in LA tomorrow for... I can’t remember, there are too many reasons. TMZ is now reporting that she won’t show. According to her new lawyer, she’s sick in New York and has a doctor’s note for a respiratory infection and won’t be able to travel. Full Story

How Hot Harry on a Horse pees off the helicopter

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2013 18:29:42 January 22, 2013 18:29:42
Photos:
WENN

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you imagine the Queen’s face? Her grandson, the third in line to her throne, is giving an OFFICIAL interview, inside an Apache helicopter, about pulling his dick out during a mission and letting it go because he can’t hold it anymore. Dude, if Captain Wales, a proper royal, can talk about weeing and peeing, I will TALK ABOUT MY POO ALL I WANT. Full Story

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The 3 Bears

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2013 15:03:43 January 18, 2013 15:03:43
Photos:
RHS/ Splash

Two bears wasn’t enough. They had to add a third bear. They had to acquire a new bear to affirm their Bear Love. Here’s what Slum Bear Casper Smart posted on his Twitter yesterday, re-tweeted by JLO: Introducing the new addition to the family. Full Story

Scripted Porny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2013 20:40:00 January 17, 2013 20:40:00
Photos:
WENN

How so very disappointing that Jessica Simpson and Ryan Lochte somehow missed each other pop culturally. A year or two earlier or later and it could have been spectacularly stupid. Stupidly spectacular? Both! Can you imagine? And then a reality show: Dum-Dums. Or Porny & Dum-Dum. No one would have to smoke weed ever again. Full Story

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JLO on Mimi Day

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 16, 2013 17:39:16 January 16, 2013 17:39:16
Photos:
CelebrityVibe/ Splash

Mariah Carey’s American Idol premieres tonight. It’s the only appointment that should be on my schedule. On all our schedules. Aaaaand... Here’s Jennifer Lopez’s face on the cover of PEOPLE Magazine. As you know, it was JLO who vacated her judge’s seat, subsequently opening up a spot for Mimi at a cost of $18 million. Full Story

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Slum Love at the Globes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 14, 2013 22:40:48 January 14, 2013 22:40:48
Photos:
Jason Merritt/ FREDERIC J. BROWN/ David Livingston/ Getty

She had to bring him. She had to. She could not face the Afflecks alone. I don’t understand why. If I’m JLO, I’d face the Afflecks alone every.single.time. Especially in this dress. No, I don’t like this dress. In fact, I think it’s a gross dress -- much more typical of Zuhair Murad than Marion Cotillard’s last week Full Story

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What Would Dum-Dum Do?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2013 15:45:41 January 8, 2013 15:45:41
Photos:
Wenn, Fame, Splash

Well, it was inevitable: a Ryan Lochte reality show on E! It premieres in April and will feature Dum-Dum preparing for Rio 2016 and managing his clothing line and trying to find love. At 28? Training for another Olympics while getting your dick sucked by former child stars and aspiring actresses? I guess that sets up Season 4 then, non? Lochte sinks at the Olympic trials. Full Story

#cuttingforbieber

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2013 20:35:04 January 7, 2013 20:35:04
Photos:
JN/TO/Splash

Justin Bieber was caught with what looks like a blunt and now his people are all trying to blame Lil Twist for being a bad influence. (Source) Why is it that when Justin Bieber does something generally perceived as “positive”, no one else gets credit for it? It’s a page out of the Lindsay Lohan Playbook: never take accountability. Full Story

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Referring to yourself in the third bear

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 3, 2013 19:57:16 January 3, 2013 19:57:16

You can never go wrong with a Jennifer Lopez magazine spread. Not even if they’re sh-tty pictures. Even when they’re sh-tty the camera loves her. And she knows how to do something with it. “Jennifer Lopez is standing on the terrace of the Ciragan Palace hotel in Istanbul, shooting the cover of Bazaar. Full Story

GOOP: It’s All Good

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 28, 2012 16:19:05 December 28, 2012 16:19:05

This is the name of her new cookbook. Another cookbook, F-CK! How about a collection of autobiographical recipes in which you tell us about the time Brad Pitt found out you cheated on him and then ate nachos? It would be the only gift I gave for a year. I would buy at least 50 copies. I would read it at least 50 times. Full Story

Taylor & Harry: one week to Christmas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 19, 2012 17:59:40 December 19, 2012 17:59:40
Photos:
Justin Steffman/ Splash

OMG, will they make it? Taylor Swift and Harry Styles spent most of last week in England together. He showed her around the countryside and gave her 23 gifts to celebrate her 23rd birthday and it was several movie montages combined into one long music video. Time for a location change... Full Story