Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Does Ryan want to be coloured?

August 16, 2012 16:15:29 Posted at August 16, 2012 16:15:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There’s a 15 page colouring book now available for purchase. Colour Me Good Ryan Gosling comes with the following back cover instruction: "Use your felt tips to colour in Ryan Gosling driving, eating, kissing, standing, walking and all manner of handsome activities!"  Hilarious, right? Ish. Full Story

Every love is forever but we’re never getting back together

August 14, 2012 16:09:25 Posted at August 14, 2012 16:09:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash

Taylor Swift has a new album called RED coming out in October. And there’s already a new song -- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Once again, then, a breakup song. Because as she told her fans yesterday: "All the different emotions that are written about on this album are all pretty much about the kind of tumultuous, crazy, insane, intense, semi-toxic relationships that I’ve experienced in the last two years. Full Story

Shelfy needed to be alone

August 14, 2012 15:04:33 Posted at August 14, 2012 15:04:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Fame/Flynet, Sean Gallup/Getty

But first... That goddamn fringe. Jessica Biel was in Berlin yesterday promoting Total Recall at the press event and the premiere. Fashion-wise both choices are disappointments. That silky crop top makes her tits all wobbly in the daytime outfit and what kind of proper celebrity wears a tiered skirt in 2012? You know who still wears tiered skirts? Mischa Barton. Full Story

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Becoming Taylor Kennedy

August 13, 2012 20:17:27 Posted at August 13, 2012 20:17:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
INF

Here’s Taylor Swift yesterday at the Kennedy compound with Robert F Kennedy Jr. And, well, you know, because it’s Taylor, one day she hopes she’ll get to call him Dad. Taylor is dating Kennedy’s son, Conor, who is 18. So, like, obviously he’ll never want another girlfriend, ever again. Full Story

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Ryan Lochte: The Bachelor in green pants

August 10, 2012 16:56:15 Posted at August 10, 2012 16:56:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash, PCN

As Sasha tweeted at me yesterday - Please let him never stop being dumb. Please let him never stop being Ryan Lochte, our favourite dum-dum, as Tina Fey would say. Did you watch Ryan Lochte on The Today Show this morning? As soon as Ryan Lochte starts speaking, I smile. A wide smile. A smile full of affection as he tries to sort the verbs and the nouns out in his head, and given that it was a sweaty late night last night, remarkably lucid, although, if possible, he was actually talking slower than usual. Full Story

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Good Morning Ryan Lochte

August 9, 2012 16:25:56 Posted at August 9, 2012 16:25:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Sasha and I were emailing about this yesterday - it’s the same joy, though not quite as pronounced, that we get from Mariah Carey’s inability to walk, or her overuse of the word “bleak”, or when she complains about her twin pregnancy and what she had to endure... Such is Ryan Lochte’s dumbness. Full Story

Ryan Lochte wants Hollywood

August 8, 2012 20:25:52 Posted at August 8, 2012 20:25:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Ryan Lochte was out last night in London. He seems to enjoy getting papped, non? A lot. After London 2012, I wonder how he’ll deal with not being followed and talked about constantly anymore. Look at Ryan Lochte. Ryan Lochte doesn’t want to fade away and live a private life. Ryan Lochte wants it bad. Full Story

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Bear is being watched

August 3, 2012 22:14:49 Posted at August 3, 2012 22:14:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

An interesting article appeared on PEOPLE.com today titled: Jennifer Lopez Becoming Short-Tempered Around Casper Smart Whaaaat???? But they're not even married yet. Everyone knows she doesn't actually open her eyes and stop thinking with her dumb heart until she marries them and gives away too much of her money. Full Story

Bear went to the John Travolta?

August 1, 2012 17:57:00 Posted at August 1, 2012 17:57:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well, not quite. John Travolta likes his rub'n'tuggers to be men. It appears Jennifer Lopez's boyfriend prefers to be jerked off by proper female sex workers and not unsuspecting massage therapists.  IN TOUCH Weekly is reporting that Casper Smart went to an "exotic massage parlour" last week in NYC a day before JLo's bday party and was serviced by "Bibi" who says he was "in a big hurry" and "lasted for 10 minutes". Full Story

Kristen Stewart’s problematic apology

July 30, 2012 13:57:40 Posted at July 30, 2012 13:57:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Kevin Winter/Getty

Click here if you missed my article last week about Kristen Stewart’s embarrassingly beggy public apology last week. As noted then, I think it was a mistake. A totally unnecessary mistake. And it ended up being an invitation to ask more questions, question more details, demand more information, a tacit agreement that her private life is fair game. Full Story

Mila gets dinner

July 27, 2012 17:47:13 Posted at July 27, 2012 17:47:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Oh look it’s Ashton Kutcher who cheated on his wife with hot tub girls and received job offer after job offer following the incident. Ashton took Mila Kunis out for dinner last night. Well, when it comes to Ashton Kutcher, if there’s dinner involved, you know it must be serious. And you know she must be into it for more. Full Story

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