Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Mother Porny pushes a buggy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 25, 2012 13:29:17 June 25, 2012 13:29:17

This t-shirt started out as a crew neck. And here’s Porny living up to her Porny name. Because Jessica Simpson turns everything, even a walk around the block with her baby, into sexual suggestion. Can she help it if she has big ass tits? Perhaps not. But what about the lasciviousness of that open mouth on top of those big ass tits? Whether or not she was intending to, what she ends up saying here is that she’ll suck on it while you’re rubbing it between her breasts. Full Story

Lohan and the unions

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 21, 2012 18:26:32 June 21, 2012 18:26:32
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Deadline posted an article last night about the situation on the Elizabeth Taylor Lifetime movie of the week starring Lindsay Lohan after receiving word that two industry unions, one representing actors and the other for crew, made queries about working conditions on production after Lohan's dramatic car accident and subsequent tweets about long hours on the set. Full Story

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Here’s your Christian Grey

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 20, 2012 17:52:55 June 20, 2012 17:52:55
Photos:
Bauer, Splash

Who? If you don’t know, congratulations. Because you obviously haven’t made the mistake of reading Fifty Shades of Grey. I envy you. I want to UN-read it. Can you imagine if un-reading was possible? I could UN-read Ethan Hawke’s books. And read Harry Potter again for the very first time? Anyway, Fifty Shades Of Grey is the story of Anastasia Steele who falls in love with Christian Grey who is super f-cked up and afraid of commitment and only wants to dick her in his special sex room and doesn’t want a relationship but of course then he falls in love with her because she’s not really that special, having just graduated from college with no particular distinction and no defined skills and no real personality. Full Story

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The onset of regret: Lifetime & Lindsay Lohan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 15, 2012 20:26:17 June 15, 2012 20:26:17
Photos:
WENN

First things first, because there have been some misleading headlines... Lindsay Lohan was NOT hospitalised. She may have been trying to call in sick though. Like clockwork, drama on the set of any Lindsay Lohan movie... Paramedics were called to her hotel this morning. According to TMZ Full Story

Show me the audition tape

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2012 20:10:23 June 12, 2012 20:10:23

Oh guess what? Lindsay Lohan lied to the cops about who was driving when her Porsche collided with a truck on the Pacific Coast Highway last week. Apparently she told them that it was her assistant who was driving, and even climbed over her assistant on the passenger side to get out the car. Full Story

Is there a behind-the-scenes?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2012 15:17:03 June 12, 2012 15:17:03

Have you seen this Paramount Vanity Fair photo yet? In celebration of its 100th anniversary, 116 of the studios “greatest talents” gathered for a class photo. You can see the image here, with a zoom feature to closely analyse every expression. Full Story

Lindsay Lohan vs Porsche

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2012 16:03:11 June 11, 2012 16:03:11
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Let this be a warning for those of you in the industry half-cocked to hire Lindsay Lohan: she is (still) unhireable, and likely always will be. So she’s driving on the Pacific Coast Highway the other day in a rented 911 Porsche 2012. Smashes into a truck. Claims it wasn’t her fault. Full Story

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Jen & Justin > Will & Adam

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 8, 2012 20:10:41 June 8, 2012 20:10:41
Photos:
Christopher Polk/Frazer Harrison/Getty

Page Six reports that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are collaborating on a short film instead of a baby. They’re supposedly satirising the gossip industry’s fixation on their relationship - one minute she’s pregnant, the next they’ve broken up. Full Story

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Shailene Woodley doesn’t know

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 4, 2012 15:38:37 June 4, 2012 15:38:37
Photos:
WENN

LOVE what Shailene Woodley wore at the Movie Awards last night. And then she went up on stage and goddamn I wish she didn’t. It was the Breakthrough Award. She was the only person in her category who attended the event. So... Her people don’t explain how this sh-t works? Please. Full Story

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Postpartum Porny is Horny

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2012 14:01:54 June 1, 2012 14:01:54

Of course she is. Jessica Simpson, after all, is now the representative of the Perfect Woman in the eyes of the men: She is fertile and luscious with big ass tits and she still wants to f-ck even after having a baby. If Jessica Simpson can do it, and enjoy it, why can’t you? That’s how you satisfy your man, don’t you know? In her exclusive interview with PEOPLE, for which she was paid a million dollars, Porny tells the magazine that: “I've kind of broken one rule. Full Story

Porny didn’t push

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 30, 2012 14:59:49 May 30, 2012 14:59:49

As expected, PEOPLE Magazine outbid everyone else for the first photos of Jessica Simpson’s baby Maxwell Drew. There’s also an exclusive interview. Since everyone goes crazy over babies and everything baby-related these days, they expect this to be a big seller which is why Maxwell’s first job as a Baby Pimp earned her mother a million dollar paycheque. Full Story