Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Reads in trees, compliments himself

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 29, 2011 08:36:19 July 29, 2011 08:36:19

I snarked on Kellan Lutz a couple times yesterday because, obviously. He is more insufferable to me than ever since Comic-Con. And, you know, if I were him I’d be a little more careful about that secret because it’s no longer a secret anymore. Anyway, my friend Scott in New York, seeing that I was sh-tting on Kellan, being the bitchy, encouraging person that he is, sent me a scan from a recent issue of Us Weekly with an interview of Kellan Lutz. Full Story

Henry Cavill: not photogenic and bad pants

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2011 08:35:51 July 28, 2011 08:35:51

Have received a lot of email about Henry Cavill after Comic-Con and I don’t have a lot to say about him other than he’s really, really lovely and has great hair and... is, like Charlie Hunnam, terribly unphotogenic. I mean, in person, you have to believe he’s beautiful. Elegant, strong, handsome. Full Story

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Bad movies people will see

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 27, 2011 09:54:00 July 27, 2011 09:54:00

More trailer analysis... I don’t actually know how a movie like New Year’s Eve keeps making itself. But now you know why Ashton Kutcher went back to television. Even he couldn’t stand this sh-t anymore. Let’s put the tall guy and the short girl together and make them kiss! What is it? It’s a series of cute formulaic movie scenes with so called Chick Lit snappy dialogue. Full Story

The GMD could totally do Nessun Dorma

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 26, 2011 07:49:56 July 26, 2011 07:49:56

As we all know, the GMD got really into the singing for Rock of Ages. And they keep trying to tell us that he can actually sing for real. That we will be amazed by his vocal abilities. That his voice will complete you. Was this part of the contract? Because one after another they’re trotting them out to deliver these lines, the same lines, so if it’s not overly obvious then, um, it must be true??? According to his Rock of Ages co-star Malin Ackerman: "You will be shocked. Full Story

Maybe you should downsize ...and stop buying shoes

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2011 14:31:45 July 21, 2011 14:31:45

Lindsay Lohan went to court today for a progress report on her probation. Supposedly the probation officer has a hard-on to get her thrown back in prison. The probation officer is clearly our friend. The judge was impartial though, not totally siding with the PO but also giving Lohan the gears for being. Full Story

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Posh sells books

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 19, 2011 13:59:18 July 19, 2011 13:59:18

Several of you have emailed me about this today: sales of Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird have increased 123% on Amazon UK; it now occupies 38th spot on the bestseller list. The Beckham Bump. Does she know? OF COURSE she knows. As IF she hasn’t been googling Harper Seven Beckham Victoria Beckham since she gave birth. Full Story

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As IF, Lindsay Lohan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2011 13:29:06 July 13, 2011 13:29:06

Lindsay Lohan went to Miami in May, before she was locked inside her comfortable Venice Beach townhouse for a month, for a photo shoot and interview with Plum Magazine. A reader called Ellie sent over this video from the shoot titled, “I can’t believe she didn’t steal those clothes” which, hilarious right? I agree. Full Story

Let’s open the week with an As IF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 11, 2011 09:05:02 July 11, 2011 09:05:02

It was Porny’s birthday yesterday. She’s 31 now. And she tweeted this photo – a gift from her KFed. He bought her a new bag. What looks like a Birkin. A very large, very orange one. With this caption: Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised in my life! Jackie O who? ;) See what Victoria Beckham has done to Birkins? Now anyone can buy a f-cking Birkin. Full Story

This happened at 5am

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 8, 2011 09:50:22 July 8, 2011 09:50:22

Robert Pattinson was in Toronto last night shooting until 5am. When he finished he spent several minutes signing autographs for the lady fans who’d been waiting for him. Until 5am. People keep thinking it’s kids who pull this kind of crazy. Look at them. These are not kids. These are grown. Full Story

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Another monumental As IF

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 8, 2011 07:31:00 July 8, 2011 07:31:00

Yesterday’s As IF moment came to us courtesy Victoria Beckham or, rather, David Beckham who claimed his wife Posh didn’t know that he was iPhoning her pregnantly candid. Click here for a refresher. Today’s As IF is thanks to Megan Fox who took to her Facebook page in a post titled "THINGS YOU CAN'T DO WITH YOUR FACE WHEN YOU HAVE BOTOX" to prove she’s never had Botox by posting these attached photos of herself scrunching up her forehead like that sh-t is all natural. Full Story

Freedom: just in time for the weekend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 30, 2011 08:55:34 June 30, 2011 08:55:34

Lindsay LOHAN was released from house arrest yesterday. Her 25th birthday is on Saturday. Great timing. There was a really funny story that LOHAN’s people fed to TMZ yesterday about her being afraid to go out because of the paps. At the time, they insisted that LOHAN would be staying home for a while. Full Story

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