Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

B & J at the wedding?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 25, 2011 13:10:40 April 25, 2011 13:10:40

I’ll preface this by saying that the following is a dodgy report that comes from one of the British tabloids. And, well, if there was actually a Royal Wedding-related piece of information involving two such major names, it seems weird that it would be the Daily Star Full Story

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Lindsay LOHAN gets it in the ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 25, 2011 06:26:31 April 25, 2011 06:26:31

I was at the airport in Vancouver getting ready for my flight to London on Friday when the news crossed my blackberry that Lindsay LOHAN was sentenced to 120 days in jail. Once upon a time that would have been, like, breaking and urgent. Now it’s just a *kanye shrug*. But big f-cking ups to Judge Stephanie Sautner for giving it to her in the ass. Full Story

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The Help trailer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 20, 2011 13:05:00 April 20, 2011 13:05:00

I read the book like everyone else who reads books on lists. I thought it was … OK. It certainly didn’t change my life or anything. Found the ending rather underwhelming. And, well, I have some serious fundamental issues with it that, um, are probably best left to another discussion. So I guess I’m not as excited about the movie as others may be. Full Story

What a dumb bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 20, 2011 12:00:55 April 20, 2011 12:00:55

Lindsay LOHAN somehow found someone who was willing to give her an acting job. A real acting job. Marc Fiore, producer of the Gotti biopic, crazily enough, went on record as saying she was his first choice. That she deserved a fifth chance to put her sh-t back together and he wanted to provide that opportunity. Full Story

Porny confuses Tongues & Necks

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 18, 2011 06:48:20 April 18, 2011 06:48:20

There was an article that appeared on People.com late Friday. Porny talked to the magazine about her wedding dress, what she’s looking for, what she has in mind. Oh la. Apparently Porny does NOT want to look “top heavy” (since when???) and as such, is considering something with a v-neck or a scoop neck. Full Story

Lindsay LOHAN: role-stalking Blake Lively

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 14, 2011 07:03:13 April 14, 2011 07:03:13

There was a ridiculously funny story that appeared in Page Six today about Lindsay Lohan and the sh-t she’s peddling right now. As you know, Lohan is supposed to play Victoria Gotti in the Gotti biopic. The only reason she’s getting that job is because her family and the Gottis are tight. Full Story

Lindsay LOHAN Gotti

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2011 08:17:28 April 13, 2011 08:17:28

They gathered in New York yesterday to announce production on Gotti: Three Generations. John Travolta is to play John Gotti. Joe Pesci his associate and Lindsay LOHAN his daughter Victoria. Those papers have yet to be signed though, which is why Lindsay LOHAN wasn’t part of the official press conference. Full Story

Gwyneth cooks, Cameron’s ass, Chris runs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 12, 2011 11:11:00 April 12, 2011 11:11:00

Next week, Gwyneth Paltrow will not sing Adele as well as Adele on Glee. This week she’s pimping her new cookbook in New York. Apparently there’s even a book signing somewhere today or tomorrow. Like people will line up for the privilege of meeting her and trying her recipes. Anyway, last night she threw a dinner party and invited some of her famous friends so that she could cook for them. Full Story

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Gwyneth, Glee & Adele

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 12, 2011 07:06:17 April 12, 2011 07:06:17

At this point it’s like Chinese water torture. Every Gwyneth Paltrow song is like one maddening drip on your forehead, death by annoyance and irritation. To be fair, the cover of Over the Rainbow can’t be on her. As I noted yesterday, Matthew Morrison will have to own that one, especially after selling it as a new and fresh interpretation when, as I posited yesterday, what it really sounds like is just a retread – and an inferior one at that – of Israel "IZ" Ka?ano?i Kamakawiwo?ole’s iconic version of the song. Full Story

Box office > Privacy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 12, 2011 06:21:19 April 12, 2011 06:21:19

Have you seen it? Reese Witherspoon covers the new issue of Vogue. You can look at more photos here. I mean they’re alright, I guess. Like, I get it that she worked with an elephant in the movie Water For Elephants but I wonder if I need every shoot to reflect the elephant presence, you know? It’s like being clubbed over the head with a trunk. Full Story

An 8 ball sized Sit DOWN

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 25, 2011 11:43:53 March 25, 2011 11:43:53

I'm sure you've heard about this dumbassery. That Dina Lohan, mother of all parent pimps, is now saying that going forward, it'll no longer be Lindsay Lohan, it'll just be Lindsay. As in Madonna. As in Prince. As in bitch who the f-ck are you? Lindsay? Who??? Oh you mean that cranked up twat who hasn't worked in 3 years? Her? Thanks for the reminder about why you needn't feel sorry for Lindsay LOHAN. Full Story